Fated?

Cant it just be a little bit better?
Md: cloudY

whY? everytime the tuition fees from RP comes always gives me BIG worries... Y ? simply becos i have an irresponsible father who didn take up the responsibility in taking care of our life, our neccessity, my mother who's CPF have been used up as to pay for my elder brothers poly and have been working so hard to support us... i feel useless when i have to rely on my mum to pay for my school fees, why am i unable to support myself ? sometimes wondering, am i spending time wisely ? i am not a rich man son, neither a person who have resposible father. was the birth of my a fault? was my existence unecssary? sometimes just wondering who am i and what am i doing ... too tired ...
i feel sad... for not doing things better, for not achieving better grades myself... it's time to give up somethings in life.. .

road to life again?

2602'06

some days before, i asked myself what have i been doing all this while,what i want to achieves, what can i do to benefit the society in the future, what should i do to provide a better future for my loves ones. am i thinking too much ? mayBe after watch the story of a unfortunate ger, who is good at everything and one day because of her sickness, she have to give up alot of things, to dream ... time is precious ... to live is fortunate, to have the ability is fortunate, having what you have now is lucky... cos there are always ppl who live in the darkness, heading no where to the future ... is the heaven unfair? is there something controlling what we are now? what we have now?because of that fate existed...

people regrets, always hoping for a time machines that can bring them back to the past... one day anyone will died, peacefully or otherwise...
For the future to saves live, i want to become a med tech...
To protect, i learn judo, lifesaving
working for a better life ? to achieve more ?
can the world have more time? can time machines existed, so that people know how to make the best uses ofthe time ?
NO... the world have 365 days/ year, 24 hrs per days .... ...
' am i heading towards where i want to ?'

it's the new phone !!

md: =o

today left hse at 6am for sch, as i didn study for the UT, so went to sch earlier to study, woah things were different when i taking the train, the people, the sky, the feeling. The science UT today was basically testing our sec sch learnings, but it's very time consuming, only 1 ques was related to what we studied. After 1st meetin, i left sch, for npcc, at least see them for the last campcraft compeition training, be there for them ?saw improvement, i felt happy internally, thanks mr seong alot for providing them with the mantality and constant reminder to them, if there's only my myself, i guess we are still halfway there. hmm, therefore sarcrificed my daily grade for today but think it will be okay, as for G102 i got A and B for daily so there's no need to cover up for Cs and Ds, hope P15 and P16 will get A.
I find my mentality during dropped week by week, focus wasn't there. So for the next few weeks i will stop NPCC for judo, FOCUS JUDO !! hope can improve and be the best for the opponents, hope to win something, so that the chances of getting proper tatami mats will be higher in school.
Something to learn in life: things gets more complicated when growing up, the outside world wasn't that simple as u see, u only see one side of it how about many others? i use to only belive in my own view, what i see, how ppl treat me, but things seem complicated when u know ppl's view towards certain things, u choose not to belive it but that seem like sticking in u unconscieniously.
Brought a new phone, K700i, wantedto buy 750i but too ex, only can afford 700i, thanks both of my brothers taking out their time in accompanying my to get the phone.

' so many things to be done, yet i keep forgetting them ... '

it's a sunday

md: sunny

-out with GWP jies
- saw buttY @ orchard =)
-thanks dearY for the cookies =)

'life, a road that full of unexpected...'
1202'06 2323

gain and loss?

md: cloudy ...

- wat's my life about? wat do i really want? i dn hav enuff time to commit to so many activities, i felt tired ...
-i have nv understand somthing which is call 'gain and losses', to gain weight? too much training? weight or training ? balancing ? haizZz ...
-sometimes i was thinking... shld i giv up on npcc? i really don like to be a 'leader' i simply hate ordering others ard, as i was unable to prove something in life, 'the different view ard'
- this week was a really bad bad week for me, i was unable to give my fullness in my trainings
- i am really looking down on myself?
- valentine day is getting nearer... somethings special for the special her =)

: 2336 0902'06