290905

290905
m: cloudy

-RPJ

Had a terrible dream last night, dreamt of someone impt to me left me in the sudden.. the dream make me thought of it the whole day round. wakeY late, late for judo training.. my throws sucks!! i cant excute properly.. kata randori partner with raft, cant throw him properly becos of my stupid leg.. then follow by demo, learn kata guruma but still unable to excute it properly.. then tamoe naga.. Then when to collect shirt.. took 33 from queenway to bedok, didn bother to change to mrt, 1.5 hrs trip, lotsa thoughts went through my mind...a thoughts of k6i.. 'i exist here because of fate'.... finally finishing the disc ...

280905

280905
w:breezy
m: cloudy

- katong judo

linz is unhappy today, so as i... hmm guess she's stress about exams, going into the bioclass, and over the stuffs happening in her family ? I cant guess what's on her mind ... gers thought are so deep... today's judo lesson was interesting!! combination tatics !! from , ko ouchi gari to osoto gari, osoto gari to uchi mata then the breaking of stiff hold- main the pull and the push in wrist follow by any tatics, still trying out the comb of ko ouchi gari to uchi mata.. 'got confidence for ivp ??' my answer to her no ... i havent reach the standard... 'find and play your style of judo!' - sensei ...

k6i 2409

another typical daY of k6i
W:biG biG suN hanging in the skY
M:aku tatawu

NPCC meeting: with 2 wcis of GV (for dec camp)
Katong Judo
Work (GWPH)

today ??? ANOTHER BORING DAY!!! yeaH!! saw linz , but she look so 'not okie' , hmm injured so long le, but still didn bother to see a doc...haiZzzzzZZzz feel like dragging her to doc manZz.. tired today... 'tomorrow mayb my last day of work in shilin', ' quit ? still thinking' heY guess wat? today's funtion was a 50th wedding anniversery of a couple !! wow, 50 years lehz.. every time i see people marry, i felt happiness for them, hmmm so when will it be my turn??

1609

mY 1st Judo compeitition
m:=(
w:sunnY

Today, i am having the first judo compeitition in my judo life( old boys vs present), saw lotsa sch mates. Today competition's results turn out unexpectedly, heavy vs light, light win, don noe wat's HB doin ... not attacking at all, playing defensive... hmm, JT play real well in winning HB... linz won her match=) before that she was still worring that she cant win... I was always look down by others as usual... hahaz... my first judo match, i was defeated by JT within 10sec ... by low seoi toshi...which i tot was a wazari, refree gave a ippon... i was a step slower in grapperling , i failed to take control in the first place... 'there's always next time, the harder u fall the firmer u'll stand...' i belive in that... i LOSE as expected...luckily the team event overall win(thanks to vincent)... one of my friend told me that actually i could win, but it seem that i has fear in me... that's true ba, after she said that i realise it myself ... went out with linz, didn tok much.. sorry linz.. then linz told me about maybe her father knowing our relationship, as her sis saw her holding onto my bag outside sch... don noe wat will happen later, hope nth serious will happen..let nature take it's course 'my love for her has got stronger ... i don noe why ...the room of heart is getting smalller ..that's nature i guess?''i love her the way she is ' ... I must get serious now, 'try the keys i found in judo, mayb they might just works' ...feel like quiting as a CI, i feel tired every now and then... unlocking the myth... 'CONTROL, FOLLOW,EXCUTE' .. everyone out there, i gonna train hard cos i will win my next judo compeitition,'that's a promise to myself' !!

ready for it?

1509
w:sunnY
m:low

Today, meet linz, mark and malaysia for katong training, when for a haircut, look more fresh now ... wanting to buy gi from sensei but he doesn't have size 4 gi then have to rush home to getmy drying gi. Today, low morale but learn alot from song lin today about randori =) thanks alot bro!! 'u let me gain some morale' what's more today ?? hmm, i felt fortunate in my life, regardless of family, friends, my linz ,i got everythings the best ? yes!! to me it is!! I have got everthing best in the world, my experiences is what others cant get=) I felt support from my friends, felt some care from my family, concern from linz and that's enough for me le, i am happy about it , no more no life!! muhahahaz... but maybe one day, everythings will be gone... cos nothing last forever... just like PL0103, everything have to serparate, one day everyone will go seperate ways, ' u go ur heaven way, i go my wood bridge way' , not becos we wanted to seprate but it's fate , it's fate that bring we together as a class... so we should treasure every moment together, be it with yr family, friends or loves one =) muhahaz 'everything can be taken away expect those memories, the things written in mystory... they live in my mind... ' OPOP , out of point... back to topic, hmmm, judo competition - old boys vs present boys , training for it but was unable to excecute my tatics correctly during randori , hmmm must think how it's work !! think think think, fight(randori) for the sake of learning not winning ... why ppl pin hopes on me ? encouraging me ? but ... i still think that i am still inexperience... nvm la ... just do it!! nothing to lose, be it win or lose, experience of it is wat matter most, ppl out there listen up!! i will try my best !! that's a promise to u guys , linz and me, myself .. i may not win but i will become stronger !! muhahahz cos i am tian cai okiee dokie ? (linz injure again, KL oso injure her shoulder , hmm hope they'll heal soon =))

1309

1309
w:rainYzz
m: from enthu to no life

when to judo training @ RP, everything were fine till the final randori session, which made me wore out totally, continously fought s faizal, then s junyi , gabby, big ball, raft, micheal, then s faizal again,they are fresh while my energy level kept depleting continously... i = totally hopeless for friday i guess... unable to concentrate, kept using the same technic, brain jus stop working... didn went to lifesaving training, too tired, both physically and mentally... lost my permenent contact ytd , brought daily contact today, cos having some constraint to buy a monthly or yearly, needa buy gi, stuffs for ophir... going dry... no life la... ' win or lose? i will still try my best for it!! '

1209

1209
W: rainY
M: no life

hmm, what's life of mine about ? so tired to think about it, have been working for 4 days consectively some more got so many events, activties going on... Back to today, went for ophir training in sch, so tiring don feel like doing it, but i done it. then went to ev judo training(saw lotsa my goodie friends, sharil, mf, jas mei ...), looking at myself = low morale for friday's comp... then went working after sending linz hm... that's all about today.. Friday playing east view's old boys vs present boys, my first judo competion in my judo life, lose how? 'no confidence= half battle lose, jj told me that b4'need some morale booster(only my own action can boost it, nth else)!! lol hahaZz hope wldn let linz down...'win with beautiful and correct tactic' Past, i live my life for others, present, living for self, FOR the future i will live my life for both others and self !! gonna get a new gi this wed, else no time to wash gi . 'if there's one day this happen, don worry, i will understand it'

lifeless

10092005
0107 hrs
w: breezy

NOT ENOUGH SLEEP,
work from 1000 -2300
felt tired..
lose concentration ..
pour a glass of water accidentally on a guest..

linz is feeling better =)
new CI posted to GVSS, from siglap..
tomorrow, npcc drill compeition, 0800 at hai sing
work 1300 - 0000
'what will happen if tomorrow never come ?'
wore out totally...

09092005

09092005
W:sunnY/ slightly drizziling
T: 0402

Today, went to the NEW water plant in bedok(a ce activity by RP), then follow by life saving till 2plus , hmm, finally some time to rest, went straight home boom !! onto the bed. skip astronomy session. Went cycling with, SL, JJ, V, ZJ and GJ,unlucky day ?? hmm, guess so.. we went to ECP then went all the way to town/city area.Took photos with stamford raffles, PS, NAC... On the way there, SL buang, rolling breakfall off the bike, no serious injuries to him, while the bike brake spoil, but then later repaired with the help of an unknown biker, thanks anyway. On the way back to tamp, we fly all the ways, vroom...!! then way back, SL tire , burst, then JJ and SL take turns to carry the bike while i lobang GJ.Finally home!! Tomorrow still got work from 1000 - 0100, 15hrs tomorrow.. another tiring day ? nono sld put it in ' another fulfilling day !! 'haiz, linz injured her chest while having kata randori with ben, hmm, y did he play so rough on girls too ? he's a bully ? well, i must beat him totally in judo !! Hope linz will recover soon=) hmm, also thanks KL's for the disc given on tues =) like those songs v much. Focus- study, Judo.. OA- work, npcc .. the rest don care, cos too tired, sori abt the JP, guess i will be quiting astronomy soon, as i find the IG was abit too complicated( in politics?) , i don noe... All i want is a simple life, with my dreams .. and fulfilling them. 'Think think think, that's what keep a person improving'

strange things

today, a boring and weird day? okie... wakey then have a 'slibing gathering' hahaz, have a talk with my bros and sis during the lunch, topic was about my mum as she was strange after that incident, well my dad have become responsible le, but my mum ? i not sure ? things seem to be flip around... i am v tired !! then went to work, from 1500 - 2200, slacking ? hahaz today i drop chicken, foods and money abnormal ... then sam told me the stupid story of shaggy , lol then ended up i keep tinking of the name shaggy then got 2 customers order and asked my age, then i blur blur told them, somemore this customers were at the age of 13 or 14 nia .. wth blur until like that...NO LIFE LA, hahaz today got to know kl experiences in life lolz, intersting and similar to mine, after so long i met another person which share the similar interest with mine lolz, hard to find ppl who listen to songs which touch feeling de. tomorrow is another day... going east view judo, cos requested by linz, lolz seeing ya !! :' being a gf of mine must be a v tough things i guess...' cos i am guy who has lotsa commitments and unable to spend time for the special ones, sorry... ' guess i needa give up on some of my interest le, but judo and npcc will still remains. 'my passion is burning' , saturday is npcc drill compeition le, hope gv can make, ' winning is not everything, the process is what matter most..'

Gone

My heart has been moved, through external factors. what's that feeling about? it's like so strong without my control. love but how to express it ? LOL no life ... the grades in sch has disappointed me recently, just like a huge fall after climbing up. everything = restart... now must think how to handle things properly. Really tired, of the current lifestyle, my mind and body were so reluctant to think and do things, guess sooner or later, will not be attending some CCAs. hmm, found a new part time(waiter) in a hotel near the far east plaza. Getting more and more busy, needa have a better time management. ' comparing... i felt inferior'

NDP preview

NDP preview

Early in the moring went for NPCC at Green View, hmm, everything was corked up as the sec 1 are not prepare with the uniform then everything was delayed. Another thing was that i was unable to cooperate well with one of the instrutor as different thinking in teaching approaches, whereby i think her's approaches is not applicable to the situation. Then taught some of the NCOs campcraft, however did not complete teaching as there was a shortage in time. Took cab to RP, wah so ex, sianz must cut down some expenses liao.Somemore wait for the bus in rp for 1hrs plus 2 , wah waste time only. Then hopped onto the bus and proceeded to marina south for the SDA handsigning, rained the whole afternoon, sat on the wet benches.. no life, worst of all is that i couldn not sign well and kanna the first row of the bench.Saw one of the GV cadet participating in the same event with me LOL , hahaz.The preview supporting cont songs was the same as NDP03 de!! wah hahaz. ' looking at the parade, thinking of the past, those memories...u, who was once most impt to me, a motivator to me...nv regret having knowing u in my life, u change my thinkings and let me grew stronger' - life ,' if only i am more sensible in the past'

mY fearSs

I felt fear when i climbed too high,
the higher i climb,
i might lose alot of things,
as there is change in character, mentality
what i wanna be?
what character do i want to mold on myself?
CONFUSION

One day, my time will be up in this world
so when will it come?
how long i left?
to completed my dreams,
fulfill my goals..
why is there fear in my broken heart?
why am i unable to overcome it?
why ???...
when will be the day where i will be able to love all over?

1207

movinG towardS a devil's character

Today, skip lesson just to watch the final, as i told L that i will be attending the next match she's playing. [On the way there, i was pissed off by the msg from M, msg me just to told me off for not washing the cloths the night before, even threaten to fire me..Come'on , bring it on , if u wan to fires me just because of a small mistake, go ahead. Don try me !! stop finding excuses!!don know what's happening and want to f** me off!! I will leave, for the sake of my pride, even if this job meant alot to me. So next time if u try me again, DON BLAME ME FOR TURNING SOUR!!]Went to saw the match btw NYG and EVSS, EV lose, got 2nd in national, considered v good in the past few years, CHEERS!! then saw, the finals btw HC and RI for B division boys, amazing match, Both were strong, RI manage to break HC records for being the champion 14 years consectively, and this year CH got 1st runner up, RI got champ.then follow by the A division finals , CJC vs HCJC , HCJC won, those were exciting matches, and their standard were way above me, guess i have to train more if i want to go for IVP. Wrote a very lousy RJ, guess today's grade will get 'F'.

wat's wrong?

wat's wrong ?

For the past few days, i have been pondering over my character.i felt that i have been too proud to the small extend of looking down on others.I shouldnt be . If this continue to happen, i will fall badly one day before achieving my goals and things and people around me will change drasically toward me. now i must have the word humble in my mind. must do some reflection on my own character. Understand myself , what i wanna be...."humble...humble...humble... a good code of practise in moulding a better character", "don bother about others achievements , move towards own's dream"

23/06/2005

Packed/slack day of mine

Early in the morning went for why IG meeting, then allocated to forensic workshop, sianZ kanna wat secetery post SHARK , I HATE ADMIN STUFFS!!these stuffs are no life to me!! jus becos i say something inappropriate in the meeting then kanna sabo by the year 2s, but nvm haha, since in that case no choice learn to do admin work lolz, must try to do the best in it.Hmm later in the afternoon wanted to meet CH at queenway to buy sandals , shark him , meet at 12 , 12 then wakey !!nvm , then when to take train from redhill to the end then back to redhill, sleeping inside the mrt , don feel like getting off manz hahaz.Then went for RP judo session, today didn do much training, more on the preparation for the demo coming up in a month time, Slacking all day long, but today got to learn more about rolling breakfalls!! so many styles, manage to roll without hands. Later in the judo training, ran dori with a guy which has represent s'pore b4, looking at him .. half morale gone , packed with muscles, somemore brown belt, kanna threw all the way. NVM, hahaz, he shall be the next person i wanna beat in judo, he shall be my drive to train harder!I WILL MAKE IT ONE DAY!! hmm , next is RP astronomy, learn lotsa method of find constellations,but all this i know liao , NO LIFE today too cloudy then cannot see any star in the pratical session then learn to assemble the scope. Overall i make lotsa new friends today, people with common past identity , common interest, from WHY IG and RP JUDO!!"friends are brought together by fate, and time will separate them again, effort is needed to maintain friendSHIP, just like a SHIP needed to mend when there's a hole, treasure times together b4 it's too late=)"

mE.mYself

mE.mYself

Finally after years, without father loves, i felt some care and love from him, from a irresponsible to a more caring father. Thinking back, if my family were the heart of mine, this small part of it has always not been completed. Although the small part of it has been missing in the past, however there were always be someone who filled it up tempory, which give me the feeling of father love=) although one of them has passed away last year, all in the sudden, make me felt loss in the sudden. People and animals who has accompany me through those days(teaching me, influence me, molding my present thinking/mindset) they will live in my memories forever, till the day.... hahaZz forget these stuffs, now have been bothering over commitment thingy, work, cca, school & mca(my curricular activities). Currently these commitment are, school, npcc, judo, handball, astronomy, tai chi... ... sianZz no life, finally on this day, my commitment will only set to first Education, then Judo, NPCC, work that all for this year. The rest, free then go lolz. hahaz, Education- make it to University then become a occupation which can save life(wether it's human, animal or plant). Judo - Train hard and win compeition, mastering harai and ugi mata. N.P.C.C - win top 50th placing in Campcraft compeition 2006, win first 3 placing in drill compeition 2006, teaching the NCOs of becoming leader , UOPA silver 2007. work- saving for course for violin 2006, motor and car license 2007, bike 2007, futher education. "i dream, i see, i draw, i move, i reach!"

A daY of meetinG

09062005

waOoo, met alots of "long lost friends" today. hahazZ, saw Huilin while i was going to popular , didn notice her until she called out my name(how blur can i be?), met her twice in the same day, lolz, wanted to tok to her but don noe y jus don feel like toking as i was too tired. Then met HARDCORE while i was on the way home from school. There was a feeling of happiness when i saw them, the feeling just came by itself.=)

02062005

Lame incident

Ytd got to know a new friend through En Meng, which is told by EM that his is a lamester ... And today, i met with a lame incident while buying food in the main canteen.wah..While i was waiting for my food, there was a person who kept looking at me,i find her fimilar but forgot where i saw her before, i tot " i did something wrong manZz", then i tried thinking back, 'did i cut Q?' but there was not Q , then Y is she kept staring at me manZz, then she asked me whether was i working at TB's SL, of cos i nodded my head, then she say no wonder she find me so firmilar . KAOZz, made me thought that i offended her without noticing, LOL, no life . Then after work, while walking down the station, then a thought strike my mind, i met this ger during the SAS orientation, correct? i also not sure? whatever!! ,haiz this holiday is so packed with camps, i have a total of 3 camps and 1 3days event which occupied 2/3 of my holiday , kaoZz , then how to work? SHARK LA!! like that got life but... haizZ whatever la, let fate decide lolz. "till today my mind is still wondering around aimlessly..."

Fight with the rights

2505

Today, an typical busy day of mine, went for a boring talk in the afternoon then rush back to class to complete presentation. When will i get the first A in enterprising? so tiring, then after school , rush back to EVSS to collect MY 'O' certificate, looking at the cert with a BIG D7 in first subject make me feel that i am so useless. hahaZz today Juen Juey make a remarkable and unbelivable achievement in studies, he make it to level ranking 16th, good for him , his hard work has paid off. hahaZz Then went to Judo @ katong, yeppiZz, got promoted to orange liao finally !! but think that my skill was still lousy.. when can i make to JJ and vincent standard ? FREAK , got my knee injured again, hurt alot compared to the previous one. NO LIFE MANZz .. "learning martial art is not to abuse it, but to uphold the right and protect it" , " a real martial artist is someone who respect his opponent and others , and doesn't have the mentalities to injure or kill opponent ."" martial art are to trains one's paitience and endurance"