nowcast: hazy purple

how i hope people around me didn treat me that well.

sometimes i wonder do i deserve such kind treatment from u all ? i feel bad about it. Something i realised, there are times where i didn know how to repay the kindness that you all have given me. But there's somethings i hope to remember 10yrs, 50yrs down the road, that when i was young till now u all are always with me, supporting me therefore i must not forget to repay these kindness. do forgive my selfishness and stubborness at times. thanks uncle dad, lao sim and mum.

if every kind deed is calculate as +1 then i think i wouldn be able to repay all these kindess this life time.

I guess i have sort of forgive and forget what he had done and the damages he cause to us. things went wrong, and he made the wrong choice. He choose to be irresponsible and neglect this family of his. But it isnt his fault entirely, it's because all of us resent him, isolate him, didn give him a chance to chance. I felt sorry for him, although he did not play his part as father, but still i will play my part as a son.

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people wonder why things have to be calculative. why cant things just go in a simpler way ?

however if things wasnt calculative, the world will be in havoc condition. Everything will just be anything and anyhow. Calculation is also a part of order, and fairness. but to what extend, you decide yourself.

any simple sport match can reveal the reality of the world, the practicality of human. it's ugly somehow.

sometime if life doesnt have any feelings or emotions to consider, things will be so much simpler. but think about it again, will you want to leave in a world without care and concern ?

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Went to Run for Hope '09 , 10km jog with butt. I ask myself what's the reason i am doing it for, for the organisation that organize? for cancer research? for friend ? - i dont know, remain in a blur zone. anyway i guess it doesnt matter.

Just when i am getting numb to the world, someone did something that remind me to be helpful. helpful means helping others we are in need of help, by helping these people their task will be easier and faster, by helping these people they are able to do certain things that are not possible to be done alone. To what extend or under which circumstances should we help, i guess it's up to individual.

bad headache hit again. i cant find out the reason for it this time.

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i need a personality change. a change for the better.