PANCAKES!! =D














mickey --> many mickeys --> teddy on bed

trg as usual .. felt that i am not moving in water ... aWww hate this feeling...

met one of the student's parent, she want to change his class as he is having alot of activities on mon but he want to stay in my class ...

md:

it has been almost 1 week...

Coming back, it's a mixed feelings, happy + sad, looking forward to + hoping time to freeze ...

Gg there surely need some times to adapt to it, away from family, tiny, friends, students in sg ++++ ALSO THE SWIMMING POOL, sort of missing it too. Beside building eco garden for CCAMH (centre for children and adolescent mental health), there was also the exploration of the culture over there and 'shopping' + bargaining skill.

my duty, beside building eco garden was to stop bleeding for people. Guess i am one of those who have created 'bio hazard' waste haha...

experiences there was fruitful:
- building the eco garden was not an easy task at all, the land, the people, the plan.
- everyday there will always be at least one problem arises.

our planning was too superficial. On another hand, the Dr Samba (the person incharge) was someone who look into details, every minor detail. guess we take things too lightly as we are not gg to be the one maintaining the garden and looking at it in the future, just there to built and go. this was the wrong mentality to started off with, where many people in the team were pissed off with the Dr comments and requests, (rework, redo, undo). some were on the edge of giving up when facing the 'fussy client'.

Some said they should appreciate us for helping them to build, still ask for so much more... some think that they just want the hospital to look good, since we are given a opportunity to do it, we have to do it well. we are actually the ones who will benefit more, the learning , the experiences. People there are able to build much better then we students from sg.

thanks for the help they provided, if not we will not be able to complete the project. reason being, none of us have knowledge or experience about building. removing dead trees, grass, leveling of land, marking of layout, changing of plans, digging holes, putting bricks, putting tiles, cementing, planting.... finally we completed something that most of us are proud of ! :)

misses the kids there, donald duck, mickey mouse, peeing king, piong piong, benja, ueni...



<- benja :)








in this trip, i would say that there are more happy memories then unhappy ones.
the life there was slow and simple...

Back to singapore, back to those rushing and complicated life... so much things(problems, unhappiness) have happened back here in the 2 weeks while i was away.

times files... today, another student finished his 25th lesson... very soon, there will be 3 more student completing... enjoy teaching them, even though some were rather mischievous. the best thing was hearing improvement in the students, esp justin who have improved in his daily life as stated from his father. hope one day this boy will really understand the efforts his parents put in for him in order to make him a 'normal' boy...

hope that i will be able to be enrol into local Uni...

hope everything is just simple and real ....

nothing is constant except changes...

sometimes i am really too sensitive .. sorry:(

another trough

md:

he thought it was perfect,
she's just too perfect to him...
just like a gift from heaven..

things changes,
distance drift further,
whenever she's left alone,
negative thoughts wander around.

isn't things good now ?

tried.. but ..
still ... not good enough ...

hope that those smiles was real ..
hope those things said was true ..
hope there wasnt any mask on..
he was nothing more, nothing less than a routine to her..

To him, she's someone he want to care and protect..
someone to share and see he's ups and downs, strength and weakness..
someone to do things together.
someone who cant just simply replace by anyone

hope she will look on the brighter side.. instead of darker side.

can someone just tell me what's happening? what should i do ?

hope this 'trough' will bounce up ...

md: -

- burnt, dried skin :( (effect of chlorine + sun)

- some ppl says it's stupid to work/ study according to your passion, what matter more is the income u will be earning in the future. high living, realistic, ppl just cant simply work for passion. agree ?

But i think what matters more should be the work impact towards others, towards the society. Also how much far are you willing to go into. All types of jobs and occupation do contribute to the society. But one should nv do things that is not 'morally correct' in order to earn more.

Taxis ard SG, peak hours, off peak hours, CBD sub charge, booking sub charges +++ most taxi drivers are also v practical about things. once i heard from a uncle saying, nv stand just right after the ERP (outside the CBD area), u will nv get a cab. some taxi drivers even just wait around the CBD area for calls (taxi booking) in order to earn a $3.5 more. imagine u need a cab in the peak hour(35% extra) + in the CBD area ($3) + $2.80 + maybe booking fees ($3.5), just before u start to travel, u will need to pay at least almost $10! living cost is rising in SG.....

md: -

Ubin was fun, staying over a house at ubin, cooking macoroni, first aiding senario ...

not perfect, i do have flaws, in fact there were alot it...

md:

Last Day:
Last day of school was great, no ppt + minimum research = slacking day.. haha thankie to tiny baby for the hot dog bun and the effort to deliver it :)

somethings in life have come to an end:
- those presentations and lesson
- classmates
- library (books)

but somethings will continues:
- tiny
- friendships
- trainings
- learning

Avontuur Race:
great RACE !! great experiences ! =D
thanks yk for forming YK2 =)

Start off with good lead with yk's good knowledge of the woodland location and jogging around,
yk's got serious cramp
lost our lead at the rock climbing station (arrhHh we drop our map on the grass which lack behind 15 - 20 mins)
teams wander around at the cross junction for 10mins (NO DIRECTION GIVEN!!)
overtake some teams at bearing stations
lesser walking distance, same destination (thanks to yk's shortcut)
climbing up to mos code station was a torture, it's soOOoo HIGH!!
lots of ppl cramps, they carry on with determination after some rest
abseiling: climb high, fall high (aWwW)
snorkeling: big fat goggle + tube was a great burden
calf cramps at TRCC
finish @ 5th
people that we got to know there:
- meiqi
- the organizer (don noe what's her name uh)

Thanks yk , perform with his condition of having fever, flu + sore throat.

Graduation High tea:

- photos taking
- memories video @ tanglin to woodland
farewell - RP -
bye to all fellow SAS batch '05 and faci s

some great faci to mentions:
Dennis, Benny Koh, Kelvin Tan (although he is thought to be 'evil' but he's good as a faci), serene choo, chong yun, siew pei, jillynn, hui cheng, xiao wei, yong yong, sin nee, yean yean.

this week, another busy, tiring but fulfilling week

md: :)

Fri - Sat

- Night Cycling
- sentosa trg
- k boxing

Trg was sort off slack, so sleepy everywhere i go.. k box, vonn sings well.

sometimes staying by the side and caring might be a difficult task to accomplish due to circumstances, but will try my best :) mission for everyday: tiny 's smile!! =Pp

doc says, nv nv find someone who have the similar med condition, if not the future generation will suffer. where minor + minor = 75% chance of major. which will be a big problem then.

vonn's alright from the med checkup :)

LAST week in RP:

some of the photos taken:

w35p (AY 06/07)









GMP I & II ( the only class of biopharm track in the biotechnology course)

no sense post

md: lo

this is a no sense post, so don't bother to read it, write it down for the purpose of venting out my anger and disappointment. nth else

it need to be done,
everyone knows it,
but no one take up the job,
delay.. delay..
someone know that this cant be delay,
he got it done.

A rude/ 'non- professional'/ no respect reply in return,
there was a feeling of replying back with #$$%#,
forget it,
small matters,
just swallow it will do,
don let the small little matter spoil the whole purpose...

After which came in the term 'hero',
why bother?
because it's our IG,
for things to move on and higher,
but all people see is 'stupidity'...

People only want to do BIG things and tend to neglected the small little task...

_---_---_---_---_

'all human is sinful' a term heard which i strongly disagree...

some were blessed, some were not,
some were intelligent, some were not,
some were talented, some were not,
some were handsome, some were not,
some were pretty, some were not,
some were rich, some were not,
some were lucky, some were not,
some were ... , some were not...

there wasn't a ALL being used... how can you judge ALL just by one?

_---_---_---_---_

it was designed similar,
meant to be a set,
but now it just meant nothing more than a training gear,
for he's will just turn into 'antique' which will be kept ...
expected too much ...

_---_---_---_---_

see no strength, but only weakness
see no good, but only bads
hear no praise, but only criticisms

helping others and get into troubles
_---_---_---_---_

Just a negative post.. sorry if i do offend anyone out there..

md: nil

At the age of 10
teacher ask: 'so what you want to become in the future?'
boy answer: 'i want to become a policeman when i grow up!'
: ' why ?'
: ' because i believe in the fairness and people should be punish for their wrong doings'

as the boy grew up, he realized that there were things more important, the word 'fairness' actually doesn't 'exist' in this world. people often said that 'when you lose something, you gain something' so it's fair, but there were others who said 'if the world is fair then everyone should be equal, born with equal statues, having equal opportunity and luck'. So what is really fair? and what is not? 2 thief steal, one steal as it was an easy way out, but another steal as he is in real desperate situation (to save his family, etc). Both were caught and jailed, it's justice. but if thief B were given a better situation(born with silver spoon), will him become a thief (he could have simple use his own money to solve the problem) ?

Some people said everyone will experience the same things, but it's just happen at the different point of time in life. there was a chinese saying 'shuan, tian, ku, lia', sour, sweet, bitter, spicy is part of life. One who never experiences sour, bitter will not appreciate the sweetness in life.

._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-

a old friend who will nv think of the consequence when doing things ... was it the environment that have made him the way it is ? or was the environment meant to be a test (he could have choose another decision which will then change his life) ?

'ming yun shi zhan wo zai wo men zhi ji de shou zhong'

md: --

- aquatic chalet (nice choco cake =D)

Monday (first day of sch) unable to attend lesson due to the stupid SAF med checkup again, which have cause my grades for AI seriously suffer..

next next IVP .. my 400m event didn came in last !! phewWw .. so stress over it .. didn beat my PB, but it's alright, improvement requires more training !! :)

8

md: low

it's really demoralizing, i am alr slow and today is slower, which going to make me the slowest among the slow , the BIG 8! I cant find any reasons for such disappointing performance... the goal have just drifted further away..

guess things have changed alot since 23rd... don noe what is happening, it's just felt like as if the past is going to repeat itself again, fated..

everythings just drift further .. and soon to be unreachable ..

simple day, memorable gifts

md: nil

Thanks for remembering my 19th birthday ! =D
- tiny
- zy butt
- vonn
- si jie
- sin yee
- xiao hui jie
- sherilyn
- jason
- jun ming
- wei si
- justine bud
- yong kai
- christina
- thomas
- ah ben
- jessamine
- micheal da ge
- jasmine
- eneida
- ai ling bud
- stella lao ma
- UG
- uncle daddy
- er yi mum & dad + krystal
- jie ying
- joyce
- ci liang

Happy Birthday to :

uncle daddy (26th dec)
mum (27th dec)

sin yee (26th dec)
jasmine (24th dec)
ci liang (31st dec)

Thanks tiny, butt, vonn for the gifts =D and those ang bao from my mum, bro, uncle daddy, er yi mum=D.

it's a birthday where 3 impt people are not in SG (mum, big bro & tiny), hmm anyway let's start from the morning, someone visited! it's lao sim (my grandaunt, who is closer to me as compared to my grandmas, and i missed her), she's here to feed the rabbits . chatted with her :D nxt nxt, went to school for lunch, then went to the lappiz outside OSG to play game and check mail, er ended up doing a simple budget for open water training.

ANYWAY GOODIE NEWS!!( to all LS ppl ! esp to tiny!), as planned open water training will commence starting on the week of sch reopen saturday! timing will most probably be 12pm to 2pm as i set. LET"S TRAIN HARD AND BRING GLORY TO OUR SCH! =D

Back to the day, present from vonn, small pie from eneida, thanks. Training followed by rotting in the pool. dinner at coffee shop thanks that witch again haha jkjk. back home, nuggets, fries and lian ou soup waiting for me =) with 2 cakes ! ( one from uncle dad, another from sis). Fats and cholestrol forecast: will increase in the nxt few days :x thanks for the efforts put in for my present. it was the most simple birthday of all my 19 birthday, but i have received 2 most memorable gifts in my life...

mood

Mood for the day... good start, bad ending...

goes downs and up with the weather and situations..

a) bad planning for the day... or rather didn expect the unexpected

b) raining

c) work issues

d) bad location, wrong buses

e) t mood

f) milo spill

arghH daMn it ! today suppose to be a happy day but things changes just like the weather.. a day that i have been hoping for after ....

culprit for blame = mE , haiz

__--__--__--__--

fortunate to have her in my life :) dream -> reality thankie for everything tiny :D

mum, bro gg malaysia back 1 week later
impt person flying off soon, another 7 days

md: :(

- problematic sunday... with the lessons ...

- hope she's enjoying her trip there now :) hope the foods there suit her..

md: sunny










e boxY project... :D

md: sunny

Guess GMP is the only fun and memorable module this semester, the people.. my friends .. UT for CChem = die , although it's easy but but but it's just too easy that 1 grade different might just be 1 marks different after moderating... yaWns..

Swim, with tiny and then went to paint our 'BOX' project =D really happy tiny thanks u.. for making my life more meaningful and fulfilling=) heez when childish + childish = ? :x muhahhaha

back home, i guess some problem arised again :( if only ...

md: cloudy

medical checkup , missed today's stem cell lesson.. haiz.. due to my negligence in planning. that's bad, bad things happen in the check up too, not because of the amount of the needles and 3 tube of blood sample taken, but somehow or rather, i am once demoralized again ..worst of all, i have to report back there on monday for further evaluation, which then i have to skip my lesson again. some people are given a healthy body, but they are unwilling to make good use of it, while there are some out there who were given a more unhealthy body are trying hard. this is the different between healthy and fit i guess, u might be fit but not healthy, on another side you might be healthy but not fit. i cant speak, make me dumb, i cant heard, make me deaf.

do everything without worries and confidently. hate the feelings of being look down by others over the years, relatives, teachers and people around.. the 'colour lens'..

--__--__--__--__--__--__--

thoughts, thoughts ...
what if .. what if.. there's alot of what if in this world, what if things doesnt turn out the way it shld be? this are things that we cant do much about it, assuming that if future turned out this way and not that?just check it out then why ask or bother over it? we are not fortune teller, even if we are, our fates still lies in our hands.

assume that things will turn out that way and we took a step back letting opportunity passed,
everybody was searching,
somebody say 'it not possible',
anybody can take the step forward,
but nobody did,

who knows ?
what lining up ahead on the trail is the happiness we have been searching for..
since we were given a chance to pass by this unknown trail.. why not?

'winners make things happen, loser let things happen' from a giodarno tee ... haha

the steps we are taking, the choice we are choosing make different in the future of ours.
'think wat can be done and not ponder over things that cannot be done'

everyone were given a chance to live, with time ticking down towards death... sound negative but that's fact which everyone is running away from.me too. people never treasure things as we always have the thought that 'there's still time..'. why not spend time wisely and lead a fulfillment life today and ahead?

'what is going to happen tomorrow 'or 'what can i do now or tmr?' which thought ?

--...--...--

md: ...

early in the morning just when i step into the class, i thought i have gotten into a wrong class because of a BIG BIG camera! wahHhh did i even enter a STA block ?

today's GMP was scary, calculations and charts again.. hmm but lucky I am in a v good team !=) sophia and buk ! whoOo no problem, no sweat..


life's happy and simple :) thanks tiny

happy and worse things that happened

Mon =)
SPCA
Swimming
MTG

Tues =))
Swimming
Cycling

Wedn =)))
Trek @ BT
Swimming

Thurs =))
BB
Cycling

Fri
movie
swimming
mtg

Never see someone so happy before, is the real happiness that touch right down into my heart ...

This week is really the most happy week in my poly life :) the things, the people

cherish.. treasure.. future.. tgt :)

be myself ..

this holiday: lotsa changes, truth revealed(sorry i really didn noe it, and i didn manage to handle it well, there wasn't a best solution out of all solutions).

md: --

wah whaaa!! what is happening to me !!! it's only week 7 and i took 4 leaves? one for O level examination, so excusable, but the others ?! haiz damn me ! wake up my idea can anot?! life shouldn't be like that..

looking back, one of my goal is to learn more, experience more. attending school with the purpose of learning as much as possible. if i am good, i will want to be better cause the sky is the limit .. life suppose to be something that treasuring every moment to become a better person.

but now ? very bad time management, or rather i cant be bother, keep finding excuses for myself not to attend sch ... what the hell am i doing?!

haiz enuff of these stupid stuffs ...

kai discovery ...

life = decision + fate
fate = intersection of lines

one day when i am free, gonna draw out my story lines !=D


ytd night i was burning mid-night + morning oil, then something strike my mind with i almost drop the cup i am washing in the middle of the night..

the 'something'
- why do children cry or get angry ?
- it's just simply because they do not know what to do ! that was what that strike
- look at simple example, when baby break the cup for the first time, she/ he cried, but if the mummy say ' don worry, just sweep it up will do =)' then 'okok don cry, it's ok', the second time when cup is broken again, will the baby cry or sweep it up?

- so in the future, tell them what should be done, rights and wrongs, don leave them in confuse ... - life is about experiences, when you experience something and learn from it, you will be able to handle the something in the future.rite ?

md: --

ytd went to ah ben hse to study english right after wl lesson + meeting.. saw cockroach in the lift ! woaH! haha if you were in the lift i bet u will be laughing at the stupid reaction of this 3 guys in the lift when they saw a flying croach!

so today.. O level Eng! cannot make it i think, dumb me forgotten to write the question number on the cover page for paper 1... till paper 2 then i realised it.. dead shit! then went to TP with ah ben, to submit his leave application, that the good thing about RP : self declaration ! haha saw JASON! then vincent and gang and the most shocking part was someone who walked up to me and say hi ! i was like .. er who is that .. and that person was QM, my sec classmate... then opp EVSS coffee shop, saw sensei steven ..RISK! RISK! haha have risk with ah ben, CH and my brother, er I win!:x thanks to luck. work.. really like to teach kids in small classes, i find that then they will be able to benefit more, hmm mayb is just that my ability wasn't there to manage bigger classes.

i am getting berserk again!! haiz why like tat, i really hate myself for being like tat.. and I lost myself again, after trying so hard to get myself back the past few days.. I guess i know things, but i need to comfirm, face the reality idoit ! wake your damn sense up! someone ...

md: low

left class early, wanted to study eng but haiz the running nose and headache .. jus felt so uncomfortable. Unable to concentrate.

swim away all my sorrow i hope ..

walking away from the city, to the isolated town ...

md: -dwn-

reali idoitic! i wake up at 12 plus then 3plus then 4 plus again, but I OVERSLEPT! and i woke up with a v bad sore throat.. then went to drink alot alot of water !! hope to recover.. yaWns.. didn go sch cos don noe why, mayb really need sometimes to sort my brain out ba.. then went to sch manage to study some format, then Bb with vonn, clarence and peg bud. fun! but hope i didn hurt my bud with the ball, so sorry about it.. anyway bud ! nice conversion of the song lyric !

went home, argH! that irresponsible guy of the family argue with my brother again, door slamming, vulgarities... then still threaten us to pay rent! i mean wtf ! this house 80% is paid by mum CPF ok! u got no rite! i pity him, but i hate him too... if only u were more sensible, i guess this family wouldn't reduce to such a state, the way ur children treat u.. ask urself what u have done for us then ...

why why why !! everything isn't simple ! it's complicated... everyone is out to kill each other.. just for their own benefit.. is this what the world should be ? do i really have to put the mask on to face the world ? haiz

okok i was thinking of contributing to the society, hmm but what should i do? hmm i don have $$... nowadays, the most i do going to those charity swim..

md: aRgH!!

today i am really angry over what tigor have done to me! i wasn't treated as a teammate and i don no for wat reason, he's have made my grade for today suffered. Disappoint about that... ok in th lab, i shared with him my findings, giving him ideas. if not where he got the idea of combining the graph together?! how he know about the 2 types of liquid in the first place?! i am not trying to claim credits, i treat u as a teammate sharing. But U ? you spilted the work according to your own idea, without asking. there were others in the team who not in class, you gave them any share, what about me? i don giv a damn whether you are a 20 odds 30 guy ! f**k you man! if u treat me like a shit, don expect me to treat you as a teammate in the future! Now i am sure that the tupid faci mus be thinking that i am slacking when i am not...

Mel! THANK YOU! =) for the smiley cup cake! haha training today er slack.. have a great talk with peg and clarence. vonn thanks.. reach home.. msn with butt once in the blue moon, thanks! i finally can say sorry to her after 3 years? shared some past..

' too nice? deserve a better girl ?' haiz..why girls i like have the same mindset?4 year ago, present... what's the meaning behind it? is that something wrong ?

md: --

Went to sch, planning out the night Hunt route with long fei and vonn, explored the hidden side of the sch, admiratly park, actually RP IS BEAUTIFUL! :) just that we didn take some times to explore it!

i felt really bad knowing that my training buddy have train and injured, and i was the main factor. mayb i shouldn't have ask her to train when i want to, maybe i should have gone alone.. then no injuries. Sorry buddy. ok there's something i want to achieve, is to correct her stroke and get her confidence for comp swim, cos buddy can do it, jus some confi.

I guess the best thing for me to receive before leaving Aquatic will be 1) seeing bud and vonn improve in their swimming (maybe i just don wan them to follow my footsteps ba) 2) have a better management team for the IG, i felt really sad for the IG as i am not good enough ba.

'somethings are suppose to be hidden , and shown it only to me, myself... '

回忆的声音
播在夜里
像是一首旋律
多么美丽
那时我很肯定
你是我唯一
眨个眼我们就各分东西
再说我爱你
泪把心占据
却有些甜蜜
让伤心被允许
说过的话语
做过的事情
像歌曲陪我每个冬季
纪念着我和你相爱这主题

时间早已忘记
分手时候的无情
你给的美好回忆
让我有怀念的勇气






今夜想为妳唱首歌
请妳别急着说要走
眼神交会的那一刻
妳低头避开我

妳说妳并不适合我
渴望拥有更多自由
就算给妳再多温柔
妳还是不快乐

妳抱着我 说要分手
要我答应当妳最好的朋友
就在妳哭着离开以后
我的心早已经被泪水淹没

为妳第一次唱情歌
面对第一次分手
我好想对全世界说
我爱妳不要走

当我第一次唱情歌
那种心痛的感受
我好想妳 这心情谁能懂

md: --

today.. napfa test.. ok i pass with a dull colours, 1 5pt, 1 4pt, 3 2pt and 2.4km don know the timing. manage to brush through the '2 pointer' silver line. well wasn't really happy about my performance. peg bud and von was there for swimming, they were standing some where watching er sort of motivation la. owed bud 10 laps of swim becos i pass, eh where got such thing de?! suppose u should be the one lehz... LOL... anyway how i hope she's there ? ok buddy swam alot today, but her stroke made the same mistake as mine.. haiz.. no wonder jess say that she was similar to me in the past, must correct her stroke, so at the v least she wouldn follow my footsteps. ' no one suppose to be left alone, but there are exceptional cases ... '

i am sorry, i guess i still cant get over it. Just feel sad whenever alone. have to shift my mindset back on track ... ok my daily grades was suffering.. this sem scare i will flung my 3.5 hope...

md:--

her Os sci prac today, along with her science UT. ytd was searching for help but all my stuffs were thrown away le. there's nth much i can do, even though i wanted to help. but think it's abit too late? hope that luck will be with her during the test, jia you wor :)

md: --

today ...
the decision is made,
those promises made,
i'll remember them... u too :)

we might not be bgr,
i noe it's for the better of each other,
in the future protect urself,
make wise decision,
another thing ! haha choose a guy better than me! in term of how he treat u, respect, caring, understanding...
stay happy...

i will be there to protect u always,
whenever u need me,
that's one of the promise of me to u right ?


'saddness remains in the heart..'

md: --

i wonder what's in her mind... waiting for her nudges, waiting for her call...

haha, lesson end, buddy al, mel and yong li have made things funny, after a long day of serious work :) ok i know there are people out there having some prejudice againest some ppl, but removing the 'coloured spec' u will understand others better.

Swimming .. ok the coach was late for about 1 hr? anyway finally realise my mistake in stroke le !:) although it might seem late, but just do it! thanks the coach for telling me and correcting my stroke, finally i can improve.. now i am able to 'practise make perfect' in my swimming. haha clarence, have became my good friend, although i have know him for v long. he's actually a great guy, and now he's changing to better, jia you clarence ! haha the 'holy lotus' :)

tupid don noe who kept calling the hse phone .. i thot is her.. hope it her .. but ya it's not her...

md: --

wo ke yi

寄没有地址的信
这样的情绪有种距离
你放着谁的歌曲
是怎样的心情
能不能说给我听

雨下得好安静
是不是你偷偷在哭泣
幸福真的不容易
在你的背景有我爱你

我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明
我就要和你在一起
我不想又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽
是因为你
幸福它真的不容易

this is e song.. k6i 2 y3e .. mY thoughts mY feelings

md: --

wow.. 2 men team with sophia jie today, then shirleen came at 1030am! LOL .. see other team full full de, only our pathetic team with only 3 person ..urm and both person absent was my clasmate for the previous day module, haha mayb it's my fault ? LOL thanks sophia for accompanying me to the library man and spotting the relevant topic to me. mai siao siao although 3 person, we got a fast typist (u should really take a look at how shirleen type man!) and fast 'scanner' (haha sophia is really good at analysing information!).

ok nxt nxt.. brought a kit kat which melted in my pocket ! sian cannot giv her liao.. oh ya another thing was wishing long fei an happy birthday! ya sorry for not attending the birthday lunch today, have alot of work to be done for the ppt. 5 mins .. nah .. sian.. what is she thinking? hmm wondering .. guess no more swensen le, this mth anni hmm can forget about it le ba :( went trg for nafa with jg and bud, er ok i cant make it for SBJ and SR .. saddening..

ytd decided not to continue lifesaving AM le.. reasons? i not swimming fast enough, i want to have more time (so when she's free, i wldn be busy), need not to train so hard anymore also, the pocket wldn have the big big hole, anyway no motivation to move on further... sorry guys ..














haha here's the pic we took during first break out, rather interesting .. wan zai nu nai ! hOT kid! haha

md: cloudy- sunny

in the bus... on the expressway... don noe why just kept listening to zhu ti qu.. hope the ending will not be like that ...

today.. hmm working, 3 continuous lesson, I guess i treated them too kind le, all climb over my head! gRrr no basic respect at all! then this time round didn really make the lesson really relax, one of them got too demoralise in one of the activity and turn moody:( then second lesson 6 students, er ... worse thing is one of them even forgot to bring student kit, i was like -_-"'. cant really focus on the 'needy' ones, i wanted to help evaangeline but in the end i cant la, they were too noisy le. One thing that have make me felt happy was that evanangeline did improve ! she's able to count and pass all on her own! GREAT! :D but she forgot to take her children day gift home... then nxt class all ar .. er like tat lorz.. nxt week mus push them harder so they will improve ! yEAH!

she called me !! and msg me during the lesson! :) i don noe y, but i felt happy even it's just an simple task. really hope dist will get nearer but not further anymore.. pray pray .. nowadays even lesser talking le .. wanted to ask her out for dinner, oo but she got work.. so nvm ba..

md: ---

today? lesson = bad bad, totally owned! haha anyway i deserve it, who ask me to slack down so much.. LOL anyway i admit that i have became much lesser compeitive le, mayb it's due to my classmate, my friends, as friendship is important too =)
I finally do some push up and some personal training at home today, well it's just some simple training, if not aWwww.. it have been so long every since i train at home myself.. about half a year ? guess it's due to the lack of motivation ba. hope one day she will really read the link i send to her, her's tmr didn became today :( anyway, understand her!tupid mE! ... oh ya heard that those junior passed their test! well done ! =D

md: low ..

today? a boring day! didnt attend lesson, training... felt so wierd.. and didn get to see her at all? all becos of the PP poster, or rather my poor time management ba.. the feelings of being alone is .. awWWww... the period of waiting the poster to be printed seem to be so long, although it is just a short 1 hour, wandering around like an idoit, then saw a crowd listening to a guy talking about feng shui then listen abit .. even went to see those home appliances. If only u agree to acc me, i guess things will be different.. :( friends.. television.. thinking of what to cook for her ... is she thinking the same things ? nah ...

save as draft ...

md: sad

really trouble, BGR, care too little: neglected, care too much: possessive, then where's the moderate line? hmm...

why should i think for other's ? hmm.. no idea.. isn't understand myself, think about myself is much more easier then understanding others, think for others?

Read my own friendster comments, felt so swt, esp what she have written for me.. also felt that i have really neglected someone whom i shouldn't.

Assurances is needed...

md: --

happy day with her ytd,
although it's a simple day,

rem tat..
gg to swensen on 7th of oct or anywhere ard the week,
she love e white wine,
e 'countryside' restuarant?
e bird soaring in the sky,
2 watch show.

md:--

today, really have lotsa funs with the kids, for all the classes. lessons seem to be more fun. looking at them having fun, and practising, i felt relived. After lessons wonder how is she le.. pray and hope that she will get well tmr..

all of the sudden when i reach home, i felt extremly sad, thinking of all the past. Felt really useless, even when she's sick, i cant do anything about it. Remindin me of stuart, my beloved dog, who died as we send him to a clinic instead of hospital. I saw him walking so weakly, but i jus cant do anything .. ever since i was young alot people say that i shouldn be in this world, i just don noe y, and what's make them think that way, and they were my relative. why cant my family care more for me? also her by jus abit more ? things on my side always requires double efforts, but to others mayb just a flick of finger, as easy as abc. Ok i am getting crazy, getting really emo for no reason, guess this is wat happen when everything piled up and exploded ? and no one is there for me ba. sorry ...

e memories ..

md: drizzy

back to work in GWP this evening, the feelings was kinda.. hmm don noe how to say, but i really miss the people there. but becos of some reason, i jus don wanna go back, as some tupid ppl might think that i need tis so desperately. ok i really hate him alot, he doesn fit to be a manager there ! ok others blackies were better except for him, at the v least they appreciate my presence. that was e past then... sound really childish rite ? haha..

back to work today, in the whole tudor ballroom, only 5 old staffs, the rest = new staffs (most from impact). ok then out of this 5, i think only 2 working. therefore in conclusion, only 4 staffs working in this ballroomm of 21 table, 2 oldies, 2 newbie. it's tat litta secret... I kept thinking of dear, suddenly recalled that the first time i noticed her was a CWD at tudor (not sure issit her first day of work at GWP anot). I just kept thinking of her, thinking and thinking back to the past.

That time we promise to get each other a present at 31st, tat time she added me in friendster, that time we went out together, the time we hold hands together, that time she bake cookies for me, the time i went to her sch jus to pass her something, the time i met her after her sec sch, the first time she hugged me, her's and mine first () at west coast... but thinking backi suddenly felt that i m just not good enuf for her.. WHY in e past i didn treasure her as much as i do now? why in the past i always tot of working, judo, lifesaving, studying and left her alone? things were good after her O levels, things change, she start to prefer living w/o me... at her friend chalet she stated break out, but we did not... the birthday celebration at PRP... she didn brought or do anything for me.. soon after, new year day, her feelings faded, we broke up.. 6 mths later we are back together, finally i knw that she hated the feeling of being neglected.. I have been trying hard, so that she will nv feel alone... but few mths after, things really changed, she broke my heart again and again, she neglect me n my feelings , nto appreciating things i did for her, why? thoughts wondering ... is that a pay back? or she got back to me becos of pity? or is it that i am just to sensitive? past .. present .. what will be the future?

just like i msg her,
fate got us together,
being together with her is a blissing,
as she called me dear i really felt happy,
when she cared for me i felt fortunate...

all these is from the bottom of my heart..

even just a single 4 letters words, i am really satisfied,
a call from her, asking me to care for me is enuff..
nowadays i didn ask for much more le..

I waited for u every night cos tat's the minimum i can do..
i really want to protect u and acc u home...
buy u e things u like...
gg the place u like ...
eating the things u like ..
but i knw i cant .. cos u wldn allow me to .. and i hv to respect ur decision ..
pls respect me too, not taking the minimum i want to do ...

u knw u r tired,
but becos of friends and shows,
u don go to bed,
when it come to me,
u will tell me that: let's talk tmr..
i really hope to share ur happiness, worries and sorrow with u, open up to me ... hao ma?
i really hope that for the sake of me, pls take gd care and protect urself. :'(

md: -

went to redhill to service my laptop, the screen got some prob. then to marina sq - croc shop to see shoes, ate BK don hav grilled chicken again gRrr.. saw a sec sch friend, oh someone i din know la, but got see b4 in the past, so smile lorz. back to tamp, while lining up the sam queue, caught a baby girl looking at me ! haha er i act cute lorz, she smiled =D ! swam, at tamp sc. have an sweet dinner with UD and mum, hehe v full, it has been a long time not filling my stomach totally. He's one of the person closest to me, doted me alot, if only he's my dad. ok nth is perfect.. jus that man can nv be contented or satisfied.

our distant is getting apart, she agree too.. :( i really don wan that to happen. i do noe that i still really love u, but i nv know how to do and what to do. freedom or care alot? which to choose? if now i choose freedom, i fear that i will lose her once again, and tis time rd she might nv be back. she's growing up, changing.. don noe why, i always fear tat sometings might happen to her, how i hope that i can stay by her side always and protect her. missing her alot..

md: -

e 7H chalet
played the positioning game ! lol haha paired up with shaun vs mel and sher. rOar! first to be out was sher then follow by shuan just abit more to own mel ! haha anyway we won! hehe.. nxt nxt i late in the night after BBQ,played indian poker and zhong ji mi ma, where e peach volka was out. sOon, sophia was dwn, thn followed by shuan, then sue, and JG + Fel. mel me and sue bf was er still can make it one, haha but there is one person who was clear in the mind which is sher! anyway through this night there were joys as well as tears.
Almost the whole night we were taking care of those who had bOooM... As most falled aslp, e capriconus n sher went out sitting ard the reception sit, chatting abt some r/s stuffs. out of the sudden, we saw a lady walking by the POOL! er.. sound scary, haha and the person turn out to be OO phia, at 1st sher was saying that it's nt phia... cos her legs not so thin leh! OMG LOL. scare us la tot wat happen to her suddenly out of the rm, wanderin, when she shld be slping.

there was a saying:' always look at the bright side of life', but when things really happen, how sld one really handle it? it's easy to say but it nv easy to face the facts, where the bonds is as thick as blood..
not to live for the past, but for the future.
rem e joys, but not e sorrows.
no one is alone in life, unless u tell urself that. feel... look... everyone ard u.. may it be family or friends or some1. they do care. But in the 1st place hav u gave others a chance to enter ur life ? hav u treasure and care for others ard u? in fact me myself didn does all of tat. haha
In fact some people tend to neglect people who are closer and cared about them as time passes. Some became more materialistic, some became too proud, some care more for other things (friends, work, sports, self, school, blah blah..). everyone is different.
there's alwaz a hidden side which not be seen.

It's morning, most went to swam, leaving some who did not really slept e night b4. afternoon? sort of combined with breakfast. then went to arcade, wooO played e basetball game, everyone was paired up, i was with mel, and here's the final result,hehe.. sort of amazed by that. although it 's the one at the right but not e left de.. haha
















then some went cycling, some went majonging. found horses in pasir ris park, wow nv knew that. then to the trapezium. the love birds was in their own world haha.. me and mel was then left talking just like those good old buddy...

dinner, some foodcourt, some kfc and some BK. WOW hhaha after so many rounds losing, finally some win with mel. yeah! cos all e rest majong pro, only me and her majong noob so we tag team lorz.. haha nxt the most impt part ! it's SHUAN birthday! haha looking at him doing those funny moves which requested. wow, cake waR! haha the first who was attacked was JG n fel i think, while sher, sue went hiddin on top, me, mel and phia went hidding outside.. haha argH wasn't got caught at first but was sabo by my own 'teammates' !! haha oO lips was cutted by my own teeths as shuan accidentally knee on me, even now still can feel e pain in the lips while eatin. anyway.. it a fun night! :) ... missing her

didn manage to catch the sunrise in the morning cause too tired..

misses 7H .. u guys rocks .. thanks ! :D

md: .. ..

sat 8/9

went to NUS mass swim, i think that peg(trg bud), ws and vonn have did really well, esp vonn. This is because they are trying so hard to achieve the 100 laps, although vonn didn make it in time, but i think that she has put in the most effort in this swim. People who can swim well, really well, such 100 or 150 laps is within their reach, it's up to them whether they want to spend the time, but there are also people who have to really put in double or triple efforts to achieve the same task. I admire those people, their mentality, the never give up attitude. When i look at them, i see myself back in the past, at SP charity swim in 2006. Me that time = vonn now. That was the first time i break my own amount of laps in freestyle, the process was indeed very long but after everything like wat trg buddy always say, the sense of satisfaction after... .

Thinking back, I joined LS without knowing freestyle at all, struggling was a certain during the swim, but that time i was realy good in breaststroke, haha thinking back, *laugh*. you will always see me panting the most after freestyle and always i will be the last swimming behind with alvin! haha the 'bumper boat team!'.

To vonn and trg buddy: the process might seem really really slow or long , the feeling of swimming behind others might be really 'SIAN NA', but the goal is achievable, swimming well like every others, that's why we need to train double, to catch up, it's worthwhile:) and most imptly you all are moving towards it, you guys are improving !:D
went to botak jon at clem ! CAJUN CHICKEN, i loves it !

sun 9/9

saded, really saded... pondering after i wakey, in the bus.. what am I doing, talking? still i have let jealousy came into me, and it's so much, why do i care soO much? wat will be the future btw us? fate brought us tgt...

Classes today, hmm all the students seem so bored, i see i sad also larz, what kinda trainer is me man?! I cant control students and my langauge ability is really a huge barrel for me to overcome, english!

ate noodles Oo somehow bored about it, but no choice larz, in the future have to eat more.. cos bo bian..

md: hi lo



























I luv u dear, happY 1 yr n 9th month wor =)

more thoughts, more efforts ...

md: .. ..

Oo met her, walked ard far east with ange, bugis brought one of the shorts she wanted, ate noodles (her fav soya sauce type). Something that has really disappoint me at the point of time when her friend called, she just simple say ok immediately without much thoughts.. am i so unimportant? .. is spending times together such a hard thing? I waited for the once in the week, her friends just a phone call and she will be there.. haiz Tot and tots, when she's with her friends she's happy, why not? DON BE SELFISH YI KAI! dumbass.(maybe she don enjoy e time with u?) ya then he made another dumb choice again! wait for her and send her home,1. he jus want to do his part as a bf (where most of the time he cldn becos of dist and sometimes her?), 2. he don wan her to always go home so late, moreover she got work tmr:( . but she want to spend time with her friends... ya he somehow felt bad about it after that (but he really care for her, worry about her health, her mood everything.. haiz) . sometimes, he really felt like ... but love her.. should guys like him worth to be loved, mayb not? physical appearance = lousy! (skinny, bony, curly hair, small eyes), Mentality in relationship = bad (always thinking too much... ). Another bad thing = low confidence level?

' when promises are broken, it broke too'

relation SHIP, requires 2 to board,
sailing long and far requires commitment, faithfulness and some others qualities,

even when both boarded,
only one is trying to fulfill the qualities,
the ship will still eventually sink...

qualities when both fulfilled,
the ship will sailed through storms and rains,
surfing along the wave towards the everlasting horizon...










The Ninth Wave by:Ivan Konstantinovich Aivazovsky (1850)

md: .. ..

yawn! sO unmotivated to get off the bed and start the day.. hmm afternoon went trg at the gym with my trg buddy peg, Oo jin was late AND she forgot to bring her shoes, others couldn make it for some reason. felt so weak, lifting weight seem to be an easy task in the past, but not today. went swimming.. dragging my body over the water.. haiz I am getting lazy.. thinking of setting up some BM training for people who have BM to maintain the stamina and techniques, but anyway, I felt that i am drifting further off the IG, esp after the dissapointment from the aquatic carnival, i mean is like we have put in efforts and at the very end OSG! those $%^&*, just said no aquatic IG is just an IG, Let sport club run the show, then why not u tell us in the first place GARY!, why waste our time? As aquatic IG go further, there will be no room for normal swimmers i guess, well it's all for competition, the joy, fun and laughter will be gone..

nxt went to took the wl centre key, but ended up running around causeway and wl c. ... haizZ from 730 to 830.. waiting and running around..

'all i want is not sorry, but promise and action that things will not happen again... ' imagination just run through my mind, flashing again and again, the scene of having fun poking each other... :(' can I give you happiness?..hope u can prioritizes study infront.. I hope to spend time study with u .. I guess I have become a man with v little ego, is it a good or bad thing? 'do couples understand each other more or get closer when they do/ accomplish things together?'

faster get a bike, so dist wldn be a prob anymore, OooOOoo can send her to sch, to work, everythings will just be better OOoooOOOoo dreaming idiot...

upcoming taskSs:save $$ for bike, complete PP poster, FYP 2 report and poster, study harder !

md: nil

Thurs 30th Sep
It's a special day! cos i passed my TP test for bike !hurray! the process of waiting the start of the test, during the test and after the test was scary. it's the waiting part .. wOo but it's over !














but .. happiness gone .. after knowing not being able to celebrate with her :( She's the first i called, right after the result. Anyway it has been a long time ever since i eat alone le :)

Sat 1st Sep

Ah ben PSed me cos his eye pain.. went to suntec IT fair alone, to get stuff.. thanks wallace! for always willing to share the things i wanted to know about IT.

Sun 2nd Sep
She went to work without slping much ytd night.. :( went work.. thinking how to improve my teaching method.. waiting for her call.. worrying :(

md: Breezy

sun 26/08
LifeSaving Championship 2007
RP got into 6 finals, men board paddling (Kay Thiam), women board paddling (Pei Lee), men board surfing (me), women relay event, iron woman (jess), beach flag (Pei Lee). Got 1 gold women board paddling and 1 silver in beach flag, all thanks to pei lee! =)
about the event wise, it is totally cork up, the events was badly delayed due to ...










total bruise accumulate that day = 4.

Mon 27/08

great day with her =) Fried things she liked, woah it has been a long long time ever since i touch the frying pan, but not bad haha still as skilled as be4 (rite dear?).

Tues 28/08
PP reporting the whole day.. hope to be mention in ur .... :(

md: dwn

'ni hen fan lehz, yi zi shuo yi yang de hua bu sian mehz?' ..

how to care,
how to love,
you..

patience ...
endurance ...

not e happiness,
it's always so hard,
to make ur smiles,
hear ur laughters,
cant be the one ...

out with others,
they are able to..

felt like a burden,
to her happiness,
her future..

Fate? Destiny ?
choose to stay by her..
always hope that things can be back to the very first..

Eng oral, out with ben and CH for BB ...

md: raining

It was raining heavily just now at woodland, it's getting late, her hp is off cos low batt... wonder how is she now...

MTG ...
Took a class of 8 with alysa.. thanks to her, I am not dead handling so many kids (4-6), with 2 very young ones. the rest were fine, they were very motivated in what they need to do. :)
As compared to others trainers i think i am the worse trainer of all ba.. -ve thoughts.. have to think in the direction of how to help the kids improve ! get gg! guess she will have some hard time drying her shoes... hahas pai sei..

that feeling ...

broke it again,
was it,
unknowingly,
purposely,
'cannot be botherly',
or
was it just an misunderstanding?

waiting ...
waiting ...
faster vibrate phone !

Just a few mins of being together,
having lunch,
even just having some snacks,
i am satisfied.

This 'few mins' hope,
has always been hard to fulfill,
was it really so hard,
or was it cant be bother...

care more,
bother more,
will you?

'hope the ray of shine will be back again'

ORAL TMR .. DEAD ! haiz

210807

md: sunny

- collect back my lappiz
- a cute litta girl tapped my knee and smile at me
- trg
- study with her :)

17th & 18th aug

md: breezy

Won 2nd for bi-lite ind catergory unexpectedly! Beep! Everyone arnd seem to be swimming so fast,while me, still maintaining the slow pace swim. filp! 1 lap done, there was a guy ran out of energy in the first lap after his start sprint, soon there was another having cramp... 1.. 2.. 3.. .. 6 finally out of the pool, which was at the 3rd last position.. haiz ..Rushed to the transition area, which unluckily, mine was located at the furthest corner. I heard people cheering one of them is jess and the little monster i think, faster ! Down the slope i was pacing glenn then slowly overtook some of them then jereome at the bus stop, no sight of mattew, not even at the far end corner, he was fast. While reaching the finishing line, i heard cheers all around, even from the loudspeaker. Thanks everyone =) people in the team like yk, LF, jin, jess, adriel, ZW (ah pek breakfast! haha), also the hardcore trg team vonn, peg, matt and the rest. many things happen during this event, WS have her 'thing' which resulting to inconvinence but nevertheless she completed her event :) YK too ran after a butt fall and with his muscle ache :) the never die spirit ! hey people! 'I really loves you guys as the team' :)

met her up after the event:) shared with her my joy. To her: I will always want to treat you the best i can, hahas if i treated you badly any point of time mus complain to me kies ? hehe luv u

18/8
Late ! met peg, jess, adriel and jin for the op open water trg. Jess is having some family problem regarding to the commitment to the IG. really hope that her parents will understand her, hope you wldn step down so soon. SLOW reaction time! not SMOOTH enough! not FAR enough! not FAST enough! aWWwww, these were the things for beach trg. went to hawker after trg, talk alot with litta monster. tired.. craving for popcorns .. slurpPp ! currently listening to S.N.E.S album, the musics i love.

' Habits, they make you or break you' - Sean Convey

md: breezy, 12/08/2007

Ytd was a great day with her :) but unable to complete watching the disturbia.












LS Still water




today ?F12A, my code.. Great.. haha after the things end, it seem like a sort of relive, no DQ. phews.. although there's no winning for us at any event this year, i belive that they can do better nxt year! =) go RP lifesaving ! also thanks everyone in the team for the encouragement :) her too(for the nice simple msg) :) nxt RP biathalon on friday... oh ya it's gary birthday ! haha he kanna sabo by his NUS lifeguard team ! LOL.












< the girls








< PYK in action







< cools in shades









< dragonfly in action

feeling really dwn..

md: storm..

feelings is getting from bad to worse. every pics, every words, why is she treating me like tat ?things are not getting anywhere better.. No respect for my feelings. I have been complaining about these, can she just treat me better? removes those photos, changing the stautes, caring more to me, not treating me below her friends (esp guys friend) i felt that i am less important than any of them. Confuse, shld i jus... am i still ur ? UT later, comp sun..

md: breezy

er.. today ? IT'S NATIONAL DAY! It has been 4 years le. where 4 years ago, i was part of the NPCC contingent in NDP. I will nv forget that =) For my experiences there (the jokes (hardcore pants), foods.. ) , my friends there which endure the hardship together (the hardcore gang). Years passes and ya lotsa things have happened and changed.

Today, hmm went k lunch with ben and ming, Oo then when to watch secret by Jay Zhou. IMPRESSIVE! not only a singer, a composer, a actor he is also a director ! Nice show which required quite some thinking to find the show very interesting. Touching and nice! grading 8 of 10. somehow lost in my own world(treasure the ones), after watching the show. Then went to ah ben house, ben and ming kept talking about their TKD stuffs, which made me think back about JUDO, i really miss JUDO, the training, the feelings. but ... it's not possible anymore.

nxt nxt I will clock my personal best tmr, and beat my PB on sunday comp! I know i cant beat others, but this will be a challenge to myself ! to improve ! I know i have been demoralise cos i cant win others but that's isn't an issue to me anymore, cos i am there to experience and improve, may it be my first and last compeitition. :(

How shld i handle relationship? my morale to this relationship have decrease due to the past few days, few week, the insecurity, the action... hope it will be fine, hope i will not give up.

md: breezy

Oo.. went all the way down to beach road to get a rashguard. $60 bucks =( actually i wanted to tell her not to pon the class today since the more impt things is learning the day problem, not just about presenting what we know during the presentation. A day grade might be affected, but it's understandable, my point is why not stay in class and listen the learning of the day from the class and teacher, i am sure they will explain it. At the very least we can learn more things which can come out for UT, or at least you will understand. Anyway even if i told her all this i believe that she will still follow her friends or friend. When i asked myself why i attend sch, the answer is i want to learn more things, which might be applicable in the future, it's the experience and knowledge that counts.

Nxt nxt there seem to be some problem with the aquatic carnival, OSG! i really hate them. what's their problem, if you have better plans why not suggest it out? Today swam very relax, haiz, how to swim faster? left with only less then 3 days to compeitition. I felt neglected by her for the past few weeks, was i thinking too much? or was it that the history is gg to repeat itself? Really hope that things will turn out to be fine. Recalling what she told me in the past about the feeling she hate most was being neglected, since then after knowing, i have been trying v hard to acc her be with her , remove any possibility of feeling neglected. But ... hmm I guess i am still sucks at it ba.. giving in, caring someone? do people care? do people appreciate? why is it still domestic partnership ? ... saded..

md: breezy

MAC in the morning ! but didn manage to get to eat my hotcake with sausage while it's hot. Today ? slacking day, i guess. met her for lunch :) When swimming, body still not listening ! damn ! haiz... how? but i really want to thanks long fei and vonn haha for their accompanied ! :) Oo sh** left my charger wire in class haiz limited power today, have to do this fast liao manz..

disappointment

md: D

Class as usual.. during the first breakout, instead of searching for resources, my whole team when searching for my blog... er all thanks to JG uh! haha... anyway this blog is somehow boring. Cos my life is ... ya you know. er okok.. what's nxt was trg that i want to talk about.. nv meet the timing, always end up swimming the last today.. kinda disappointed. i wanted to swim faster but i was really demoralise (cos i know that i wouldn be able to do well in the event) and my body just simply don't listen to me. Then the worst came during rescue medley.. i can even plunge in well! goggles drop out and swimming like an idiot. what the hell am i doing? where's the concentration ? where's the determination? sOo low, but no ones knows, i really need someone to tell me what to do.. haiz.. someone to talk to me.. but no one is there..

upcoming challenges

Md: Sunny

Sentosa trg today was er somehow not 'up to performance', might it be beach flag, sprint and surf boarding, it was sort of demoralising. Reason might due to the injures last week trg, ytd dry trg which have cause soreness in my thigh muscle(same suffering as peg lol, hard to climb stairs). But they are still reasons, which shouldn become excuse for not performing during trg. 'micro muscle tears and lactic acid accumulation'. Also learn lotsa things from the NUS manager, which is gary senior, forgot his name. but nice guy. Then went ard vivo crapping and walking around.









<- the POWER of ache! haha = cant walk properly!








<- e girls


nxt nxt..
guess over the past few day she have being unhappy over my selfish act and thinking. I realised it after calming down. sorry ger.

over the nxt few weeks and days in the month of aug(impt events)
- National Day! (9th)
-LS National Still Water Championship (12th)
-RP Biathlon (17th)
-O level oral (24th)
-LS National Open Water Championship (26th)
-TP test (30th)
- Submit PP (30th)

md: stormy

why it's no but not yes? y wasn't a chance given? everything just made me felt so disappointed and sad. While sitting in the interchange, hope that she will appear from my back but she didn't. Wasn't mention much in her story, she mention every litta things but not me(even when buying waffle for her friend?), statues remain unchanged in her profile, all these things just made me felt unsecured, 'do she tell her friends that i am her bf?'. 'Can we meet?', 'I find you after that...', 'i want to see you', these were the sentences that have never been told.will we meet tmr morning ? Life is meant to be treasured every min, every sec. I guess i am not good enough ... troubles, who is there for me ? no one...