26th Dec. Sat . purple sun

i wanna say a big THANK YOU to everyone. I dont know what to say, perhaps it's due to my limited vocabulary. but from the bottom of my heart i really want thanks everyone, everybody.

---"---
everything was alright today, except having a mercedes benz flashing high beam behind me up and down lots of time, it kinda really pissed me off, alrd riding at 70- 80km/h on normal road alrd, somemore it's NORMAL ROAD mind u not expressway !! kns sooo angry that i show finger first time on the road ! cant stand it. RICH soo wat ! go own ur own road la ! dont drive on public places la ! kns. 100% no road courtesy ! argh !! alright if there's a next time, i will sure play till the end ! see who win grrrr!!
--- " ---

Alright enough of venting my anger on blog. *puff puff ...

Thanks butt for everything today =) alright i actually spent my actual 21st with a special friend over the past 6 years ? I guess this is special enough ba ... thinking back, thanks for everything butt.

friends comes and go. leaving their footprint in ur mind. time to go on in life, time to face the practicality of life. from the 21st steps onwards, things will be different, roles and duties will be different, mindset and action will be different, people perceptions will be different, expectation will be different...

it might be a simple 21 years of life, or it might be a complicated one. sometimes we dont really have a choice, do we ? we learnt to make decision wisely, so as not to regret in the future. we learnt to do things effectively in our own way, as that suit us the most.

i wonder lots of stuffs endlessly. i realised i have many friends around. i realised that i dont belong anywhere. i realised that people do care for me till the extend it can touches me deep inside. i realised that there are so much more in life.

at times i just hope that certain things can be forgotten.

--- "
a flu + feverish 21st BD ...

adios

25th Dec . Fri . greyish breeze

.Random Thoughts.


I wonder why human remember things ? Why do we have notstalgic feelings whenever we pass by places that we used to familiar with ?


I wonder why human forget things ? Why do we forget things at times we need to recall it ? Why do memories fades away as times passes ?


Sometimes in life we might think nothing about something, wheras others might take it otherwise.


People don't want to remember the past because it's a nightmare to them.


People wants to remember the past because it's a fairytale to them.


Some people choose to let go things because it's doesn't matter to them anymore.


Some people choose to cling on it as a learning experiences in life.


I guess that's life. Somethings happen 'knowingly' while some happen 'unconsciously'.


-- " --


" In life black and white are define by a very fine line but also a very thick zone."


"sometimes in life, chances just come in the wrong time"


-- " --


do pardon me for my poor ang mo ... hahaha


merry christmas everyone ! =)


adios =

20dec09. SUN. orange rain

Finally it's over. the actual day is 6 days away.

happiness, disappointment, excitement, confusion and these were the feelings over the days.

this year was special compared to the past not because it's the start of the route towards adulthood but rather, i am celebrating it with u guys, yup it's u guys who actually embarked onto my 'ship' making it more colourful, creating changes, accompany me through certain part of the journey across the 'ocean'.

i know there were some important people who wasn't invited to celebrated this special day, you guys were impt too however, i am unable to cater to so many people. sorry about that.

---"---

thanks for thoughts and efforts guys =)

[PSR Coasta Sand C06]

--- " ---

14dec09. Mon : purple breeze

now i can understand how chris, LF and Ian felt that period after the burn from exhuast pipe ... the feeling is wahh hhh .. and the 'walk' through those terrain actually worsen it. then plus some water = highhhhh..

slowly bits by bits things are falling in place. but things have to change again, due to my mum decision or suggestions . carry out plan B waahhh .. alright anyway. so use to doing everything myself since young, all of the sudden my mum come in and help hmm like not use to it. but anyway she meant well. but but but i seriously don't like that 'i am still a kid' feeling. people need to experiences and learn. Falling down, moving a longer route, sailing over a tougher sea is part and parcel of life.

another round of headache, keep on going on and off past few weeks. keep on dropping things that i am holding, like just suddenly just let go of the items, and my poor handphone and keys are the most on the 'dropping list'.

I admit that i am just plain stubborn .

adios
--- ' ---

.Wed. 09dec09 . hazy purple .

that spell hits again. cant figure out the root of the problem. was it diet? hydration? psychological? lack of conditioning? metabolism rate? insufficient O2 ? lack of RBC? or issit just the body condition ? i got no idea. it always comes and hit without a reason .

didn really have time for myself the past few days or weeks. Today kind of settled lots of personal stuffs on hands. Tmr will be one of a 'big' day for everyone participating i guess. Anyway tmr will be the first time i wear no. 1. another first time in my 'milestone' .

- Friends -

Some friends are just like clouds and wind,
At certain stage of life they were there,
After which they just disappear from your life.

Some friends are just like a road and track,
They share similar mindset and interest,
As time passes people change and they go seperate ways.

Some friends are just like leaf and branch,
chemistry and experiences make them clique,
some stick around, while some falls leaving a deep footprint in your heart.

the path of fate ?
at every intersection we meet different people.
some stays while some leave.

fated to be friends? fated to be foes? or is it the decision make by one ?

a non sense thoughts and post.

adios

--" --

25nov09 wed : hazy red

' to achieve perfect fairness in the world is 99% impossible, cause the earth is not evenly round'

some people are just that stubborn, refuse to accept others suggestions.

fairness, complications, responsibility, selfishness, autocratic ....

you wldn understand the feelings of it unless u are the one going through it.

mum's back from india

wants to go oversea !!! omg , alright it's not the time yet

--- " ---

26nov2009 thurs : rainy purple

First time I experience a child crying infront of me after coaching so long. guess i sld have put to a stop and not trying to get him over his comfort zone at that point of time haiz somemore he's just a 2 years old kid. it's a thin line between comfort zone and learning new things. have to take things more slowly next time. Seriously i need more experience and explorations in handling kids ... *sigh

sometimes taking public transport is good. can rest, can observe things around .

loves OREO CHEESE CAKE !! thanks sis for that .

oreo + cheese = happy

--- " ---

adios

nowcast: hazy purple

how i hope people around me didn treat me that well.

sometimes i wonder do i deserve such kind treatment from u all ? i feel bad about it. Something i realised, there are times where i didn know how to repay the kindness that you all have given me. But there's somethings i hope to remember 10yrs, 50yrs down the road, that when i was young till now u all are always with me, supporting me therefore i must not forget to repay these kindness. do forgive my selfishness and stubborness at times. thanks uncle dad, lao sim and mum.

if every kind deed is calculate as +1 then i think i wouldn be able to repay all these kindess this life time.

I guess i have sort of forgive and forget what he had done and the damages he cause to us. things went wrong, and he made the wrong choice. He choose to be irresponsible and neglect this family of his. But it isnt his fault entirely, it's because all of us resent him, isolate him, didn give him a chance to chance. I felt sorry for him, although he did not play his part as father, but still i will play my part as a son.

--'--
people wonder why things have to be calculative. why cant things just go in a simpler way ?

however if things wasnt calculative, the world will be in havoc condition. Everything will just be anything and anyhow. Calculation is also a part of order, and fairness. but to what extend, you decide yourself.

any simple sport match can reveal the reality of the world, the practicality of human. it's ugly somehow.

sometime if life doesnt have any feelings or emotions to consider, things will be so much simpler. but think about it again, will you want to leave in a world without care and concern ?

-- " --

Went to Run for Hope '09 , 10km jog with butt. I ask myself what's the reason i am doing it for, for the organisation that organize? for cancer research? for friend ? - i dont know, remain in a blur zone. anyway i guess it doesnt matter.

Just when i am getting numb to the world, someone did something that remind me to be helpful. helpful means helping others we are in need of help, by helping these people their task will be easier and faster, by helping these people they are able to do certain things that are not possible to be done alone. To what extend or under which circumstances should we help, i guess it's up to individual.

bad headache hit again. i cant find out the reason for it this time.

--- " ---

i need a personality change. a change for the better.

nowcast: hazy purple

this is the problem which i might also face in the future. this problem will only arise in middle to low income family, where money is the green light to go or not to go for further study. I guess that's life. We have to make use of what we have in life and work things out. It's gg to be tough, really tough but i know she will make it because of her determination, hopefully things will go smoothly for her. Take a break, sit down and think of the future, think of what we really want in life and how are we going to achieve it. The future lies in our hands.

---

long long week. where there's so much of uncertainties, changes and repeititions. where the only thing to look forward is the time it's over.

tough times like this will reveal the nature of human. selfless or selfish. it's where everyone plays their part to achieve it. 'tough time dont last, tough men do'

make use of every seconds, there will be time for rest .

---

06nov09 fri : windy blue

- K box with sis and bf

- had fav cereal prawn !
do i deserve such good treatment ? i wonder. i really hope the predicted future is untrue. i hope that our siblings bonds will also stay strong and unite.

[dt east][changi]

07nov09 sat : sunny orange

- OW trg . the wave that day was really nice to swim , or issit some sorta psychological effect ?
- didn noe why is there such adrenaline rush throughout the trg ... issit food ? sleep ? people ? weather ? previous day mood ? i wonder ... and for no reason yk is falling in love in doing push ups that day . hmm . strange . - tireness did not appear in my head at all -
- receive 1 x call. quite suprise (big question mark)to hear that he/she is taking off on that day but happy though.
-supper with butt. everyday people die, but how did these people handle death so calmly ? And how did those close ones manage to accept the fact that he/she have to go ? i wonder.

[sentosa][bdk 85]

08nov09 sun : leafy green

- nutrilite jog, stated 4.5k but i feel that it's much lesser. happen to see my sispec buddy there ! yup it's coincidence, kept knocking onto him this week, twice i guess.
- library. books tonnes of books but only restricted to 4 .
- cant resist the temptation of the chicken chop ...

[expo 3] [tamp]

leave leave off off long rest week

31st Oct (Sat)

- dislike the term 'china man', pls don use names like that just because people 'ang mo' is way belows u all.


- i guess that's the problems when people from all walks of life comes together. the tendency to look down or dislike one another. i guess education does plays a part in making friends ?


- rain rain rain
hate it when i have to ride my bike under the rain, esp jus after washing !!

- but no choice, took leave for the RFH runner pack collection

- went through erp gantry without cashcard.

-almost lost in the process but thanks to 'butt's moving gps'.

[regent][sgh]

1st Nov (Sun)

- went to pray

- have a fulfilling lunch with bro at the Tanjong Pagar hawker , nice traditional wanton mee (the tomato sauce type), with soya drink and a plate of cai tou gue wooOOoo that's heaven !

- went for a 30mins jog
it's that cold stingy feeling agn. well i guess it comes once in the blue moon, hopefully it don come during RFH... haiz

[tanjong pagar] [tamp-psr-tamp]

2nd Nov (Mon)

- went swimming with bro
haha he is learning butterfly ! ok la, consider very good since his 2nd time practising =)

- Rotting at home watching (general hospital drama) nice !

- nice chat with vonn, thanks =)

[tamp SC][home]

3rd Nov (Tues)

- went light re workout after hours and hours of self motivation ... haha

- went swimming after butt's first prac then had a rainbow paddlepop which i have been missing for soo long ! =)

- met gwp gang, michael birthday =) LT's treat. realise that i spelled michael name wrongly on the keychain. have great time catching up with them =)

[TNCC gym][bedok][bugis]

- wants to live life to the fullest !
- wants to help needy people but but at the same time dont wanna being take advantages of.

adios

nowcast: dark purple

--"--

Great times with biopharm mates @ JG's 21st =D
[coasta sand PSR F05]

--"--
28oct09

- they heard that i am interested in G, helping me to ask the possibility of getting in. i really appreciate this help. thanks alot.

- now the real problem come. where G vs U.

- my sturbboness and greediness is killing me!

- out with butt.

- watched sister's keeper = nice touching show

- 1st time to iluma filmgrade theatre = quite spacious

[bugis]

--- " ---

29oct09

- woke up at 8 then went back zz , too lazy to swim
- too lazy to get out of bed

- meet butt for farm trip, bike lesson application, was way late to the meeting time.
- love the sight of kranji 'bridge' area.
- went to sungei buloh instead, nice nature reserve.
- waited in the theatre for the show, but the show never start or play. Left after 20 mins of waiting.
- saw tons of monitor lizard swimming here and there. realise they cant stay in water for long.
- saw some slimmy creature not sure what is it.
- saw squirrels .
- saw lots of birds but unsure about their species/ breed.
- saw the growing cycle of prawn, looks similar to butterfly's cycle to me.
- saw a bird lover with a huge camera with lens width as huge as my legs circumference.
- saw some secondary school kids and some kindergarden children.
- saw crabs and fishes.
- bitten by lots of mosquitoes, applied the repellent but was too late.
- saw a female dogs with 4 puppies, watch them swam past the muddy swamp while 1 was left behind.
- almost walked onto a monitor lizard who is lazing at the side of the footpath.
- climbed 2 tower there. nothing special.
- wanted to took a shortcut back but saw a 'no way out' signage.
-caught in that heavy rain while moving off to next destination, totally drench except the butt area.

- went to jurong frog farm, saw lots of bull frog, booing here and there. saw how a dead frog look like, bloated stiff body. jus like a drown human ?

- went to bollywood - poison ivy for lunch, nice curry, drumlets and the ALOE VERA lime juice ! interesting doors and nice ambience. saw their boss, was a white indian i guess, telling the workers what to do with that stagnant water, laugh at her jokes/ remarks to her workers. she came over to our table smiling at us, telling us her ways of caring for the worker 'i only allow them to smoke 2 stick per day, strictly no drinking for them, it's for their own good.' so that they will save up more of their hard earned money. well i agree - all smokers pls smoke lesser sticks !!

- went TM to get some stuffs. but decided to get another thing for that present.
- pocket is in burning. but i guess it's worthwhile.
- bike's dirty after the extreme wet ride...
- decided to go into G, take a step at a time, when the situations arises then move to solution.

- casting everythings aside, keeping things simple.

don wish to - . see his mum, bro, sis, relatives, close friends, friends unhappy. trouble/ rely on anybody. get into r/s. get fat. get skinny. get agitated/ fustrated. do things that doesnt obey his principles. overspend. pin high hopes. reveal his physical weakness. don wish to. don wish to.

[kranji][cdc][tamp central]

---" ---

adios

nowcast: -

drink. drank. drunk.

a good feeling which comes with a bad aftermath ?

some felt it earlier some felt it later.
some able to take more while some lesser.

some says it comes with experiences and 'training'

u know it's happening,
but u wldn care,

cos it doesnt matters, as the world is spinning around u.

thoughts of sorrow,

memories of sorries,

you doesnt know why it's that person out of all.

it's so deep in the heart,

in the sea of memories,

it's painful to recall back.

it's the things happened,

the experiences together,

it's so unique that it stay.

hate to relied on others,

but without them,
you'll nv be home.

it's a once in a lifetime experiences ...

you never felt it, you never know it.

that's life ...

[lao pau sa] [ butter fac - cody's BD]

16/10 - 17/10

- caught unprepared

-last min info

- unable to make get some presents done on time.

- task after task, meeting after meeting, gathering after gathering.

[prawning] [OW trg][dragon gate's tim sum buffet] [ amanda's 21st BD @ K box]

' jia jia you ben nan nian de jing ' - it's another crisis ?

nowcast: grey

browses through some blogs
there's a person who recalled the past,

the hurtful feeling,
the broken heart,

there were 3 point of views,
but none were known to each another,

assumptions were made,
conclusion were set,

perhap too friendly in the past,
perhap too helpful,

learn to be more heartless?
learn to be more careful ?

not decisive,
not observance.

if he/she is more decisive, and observant, things might not happen in such a manner.

perhaps this person will not have such a great fall, such a deep wound.

it's a past, a complicated past...

never meant to hurt anyone, never want to see people suffer.

sorry. tried. but nothing can really be done to make things better.

perhaps isolation, ignorance, keeping a great distance would be the solution.

hope he/she will stand up again, be brave and things will be better. i guess .

--- " ---

stupid. dumb / smart. clever

channel 5 . growing up. meaningful show. learn something out of it.

ran with butt, est about 9 - 10 km or lesser ?

that new hairstyle suit her .

- yi kai didnt wash bike again . due to sooOOo many last mins event .

- getting lazy + disorganised = not good. time to get back on track.

--- adios

nowcast: light blue

- nostalgic -

a day of gathering,
a day of coincidence,
it's a day where old friends meet.

stuffed with yummys,
surprises were made,
reminiscence of those good old times we had.

enter army,
back to study,
it's just another stage of life.

somethings changes,
somethings stays,
true friends will always be right there.

e nostalgic feeling, walking the same old path, stepping back into the compound, looking around thinking back.

friends were leaving ... or rather we left ...

once there, but left.

[JW. Jap Village] [ RP ] [CWP]



- adios

nowcast: grey

disconnect . refresh

isolate . reflect

rest . recharge

. . . .

Goodies Bags Week

nowcast: light blue .

Goodies BAG WEEK!

- visited chervon for AGM
- NUS SplashDown

= 2 x goodies bag.
-- " --

YK declared broke this mth =( soOOo much temptation from John Little sales + Comex Fair .

-- " --

what can be done ?

i wonder.

- when we undergo somethings unfavourable, just close ur eyes and tell urself, 'it will be over one day', may it be getting experience or follow through motions ...

- adios

nowcast: purple blue

Going Home (A short film on Dementia)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iXPHhfk_7E&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vin4.blogspot.com%2F&feature=player_embedded

--nice local film -- =)

nowcast: dark purple

- scratches on bike =( .

lesson learnt, 'nv let other to ride ur bike no matter how confident they are, how long they hold their license' ... cos ur bike is not a trg sch bike, which equipped with metal rack beside ... haiz

---" ---

- it's time to get back stamina ...

- it's time to get back some weight ..

- it's time to wake up ...

- it's time to spend time more meaningfully ...

- it's time to think about how to handle people around.

- it's time to think about more solutions to overcome/ coverup personal weakness.

- it's time to plan some contingency plan for studies and financial.

- it's time ....

' i will do things i believes that's right, till the day i fall'

--- " ---

soon.. i am unable to differentiate the different types of people around me, those who are true and those who are not.

but is tat really impt ?

--- " ---

nowcast: Dark Purple

-- cant be bother --

he's aged,
he's sick,
there he is on his wheel chair rolling up and down.

there were people ard,
all were healthy and fit,
but none of them are willing to give the helping hand.

there he is struggling,
there he is asking for help,
but all ignore his request for that simple task.

saw the selfish side,
saw the disgusting side,
it's all about man and their 'bo chap' attitude.

perhaps it's karma,
maybe it's fate,
but still we should help people who are in needs.

pushed him up,
called a cab,
hope that 10 bucks will help u in someway.

when my closes one need help,
when my friends need help,
i hope someone will be there when i am not around.

--- " ---

-- SH 21st bd --

there were old,
there were young,
all the three generations were gather here for once.

small party,
close families,
where people chats and mingles around.

catching here,
chasing there,
laughters were heard, smiles were seen.

not that rich,
not that well off,
but still you can feel the warm in the family bonds within them.

'si gua tian bu tian' by the adults,
'tian' by the children,
where nice photos were taken with that BIG BIG SMILE =D

---" ---

HAPPY 21st uh UG! =)

--- " ---

adios

nowcast: cool blue

--- the way it is ---

the step to move forward,
the step to reverse backward,
things were still staying at the same point.

it's confuse,
it's undecisive,
things were left hanging there.

left unsay,
left untouch,
things are staying put as the way it is.

for the better,
for the worst,
reactive might be the best solutions sometimes.

---" ---