goals

mY goals.

I finally found my goals, my dreams and my future. No matter where i got into, ite or poly, my destination is University.I wanna be a scientist or technologist or vet.i wanna save life all my life. saving others which means saving a person which means alot to the others.a vet, probably due to stuart.We send him to a clinic which didn't heal him from his illness, seeing him suffering but i cant do anything..if only i was able to do something to save him..

18/1-24/2

days there.

went to new zealand, for ... the work there is a brainless job, cos u don need to think anything. just choose the bad kiwi and pluck them down.this may seem easy, but u will have to endure the long working hours and long dist walk down the lane of the kiwi farm which was counting in hecters. Learn how to drive a manual car there, taught by sam and alvin, but still not good at it. everyday thinking of returning back to singapore, staying there made me feeling far out of my comfort zone. The only place i visited was the snow mountain. Wanted to visit habbiton but it was too ex for us to afford it. basically there was lots of problems there, the things was too complicated for me to understand. then move from rotorua to napier as we were switching the job to plucking apple.well first day of that made me wore out, v tiring, have to climb a 2m ladder up with a bag of 10kg++ in front of me, stretching out the hand and reach for those red apple.Almost fall from the ladder twice. That frighted me out.if i dropped, i will b ended up been paralyed. Then returning back to singapore, transitting in bali, and stayed overnight there alone.Till that day, i really felt the care from my mum.

17/1/2005

W:rainY

Today, mY last day working in metro, abit sad to leave,sad to leave my friends there, ppl like yongchye,huiming,aunt may,wendy, the toy dept guy,reuben,jandi all the friends there. aunt may gave me a chocolate as a farewell gift, she told me she can bear to see me leaving so soon.But this was one of those route i have to choose in life, stay(NP&friends) or leave(mother),i choose my mother, someone who has acc me through my life. i choose this path with the help of shamugan. pratically today was all about packing the counter the chit chatting with the cashier. Didn get to see lot of ppl on the last day of work, ppl like huiming.will be missing everyone.. hmm.. leaving for new zealand in 16hrs time.-adios to all- will be back in 10days or 1mthplus time=) take care to all my friends who hav read this=)

04/01/05

W:drizzling

today replacement off,then went out with jie2, ask her to acc me to the beach, cause i feel low. Talk alot with her, then she brought me to bugis street and eat. I ate wanton mee and chicken rice there, the wanton mee was tasty!! but the bedok one was better. Then jie2 went to work.stupid me, took the wrong side bus, ended up in rocher rd. Cook dinner today, fully on me, but the soup cant make it, abit too tastless liao, but still edible. then vegetable still alrite la. went to chalet of 410, almost knock down by a bike, my fault.. i rush across the traffic as it was green man not looking at the traffic turning in.Shocked.. Third time having this kind of experience, almost dead. Once was a speeding taxi, then a car at KL, now a turning motor. i was lucky, really very lucky not dying or hurt in those accidents.If one day i die, i hope those people i loved and loved me live a safe and happy life. "i have a wish, but this cant be achieve until the day i learn how to put aside my pride and learn what is selfless"

31/12/04

W:rainy

Got to know someone who like and think almost like me. amazing!! Got to noe her from CIBTC ATC,she was the first person wishing me happy birthday, jus 5 mins before my birthday, she called from malaysia,feel so touch manz, then follow by jie2,junming,jason,stella mama,jasmine G,jasmine mei,jia min, ci liang, hajar and lastly 2 min before it over xiao squid.Days passes so fast, few more hours to 2005. Currently working at metro tampines, hope to change department but no choice,got to know lots of friends there,ppl like kok hui,huiming,kok ming, spenser, yuan wei, judy and teng hui. Wo hao xiang zhi dao wo de xing xing zai na li. hao xiang hao xiang. hao xiang you ren pei. hao xiang you ren guan. hao xiang fen xiang wo de kuai le he you chou.but i don have the courage to love someone, cos i might not give them happiness, might not be there with her in times she need me, might not .. might not.. can someone tell me how to give someone happiness ? can someone tell me about myself ? i don really know myself now.. i don noe wat i wan, where's my goals, when to let things go, who should i trust, how to see things in a brighter side.basically my life now was fake, nothing seem to be true, even my own feelings. I am probably one of the lousiest guy in the world, i got nothing, not even confidence to persue my love. haiZ, nothing better to think beside these stupid stuffs. so many things happen these holidays. so many tests in life. so tired of it.really hope that one day i can find my star and be with her forever...memories flashing vegetable, keychain and wound ...Y am i clinging onto the past?? =(

26th/11-2nd dec

CIBTC RC

wopPee learned lots of stuffs there, make lots of friends too. i was allocated to a special and enthu squad 1. In the squad there were lots of different type of people, all have different characteristic and talent. Although there was a little regret for joining it in the first day of RC, as time passes, i felt that it's worth it. There was a guy look almost the same as sir shamugan!! wah scared me to death, hahaz thought sir S came to check on us LOL . well every things was well there, except some knee pain and the new injury of my wrist, sianz another injury. Well tomorrow will be going to ATC, finished painting the flag heheZzxX. YEAH! i don needa go for the retest of pratical and oral assessment on 18, i passed it!!

20/11/04

W: sunny

Baluku
Yesterday went swimming with hg,jm,kw,yc,zx,lao mei ... YeaH!!finally i master my freestyle liao, now i can swim on free and frog style liao HeEzZ!! But prefer more on frog.haiz, kanna a huge impact from the ground of the swimming pool,got one huge baluku on the top of my head, PAIN xia, also injure the neck muscle, sian. The result of testing new thing. Lucky baluku get smaller liao, everytime free will massage my head, hahaz.Then went bowling, wah lousy score from me. hahaz long time didn play liao. Back to today ,went to bugis with CH and JP. Then went to meet jie2 and PS, went to escape.hahaZ PS was a good racer manzZ, mai siao siao, pro xia.Have alot of fun with both of them in escape, took pictures, talk talk blah blah blah ...Tomorrow is lao jie2 Birthday, hahaz forgot to buy her present today, maybe pass to her tomorrow lolz ... hahaz, creating a da dao li of mine, will be posted in my webbY=) " check things out, dont just belive on onesided point of view , find your own point of view""Trying to be happy every moment"

18/11/04

W:sunnY

YummY
Wakey at 9++ then cycled to zy house to pass her the cd i forgot to pass her that day. Then her mum treat me wanton mee, the stall i liked most, and told me about the history of that wanton mee stall. Wah the stall have been there for more then 22years liao!! No wonder the sauce is do traditional, nice, yummy!!Then went home to sleep till the evening, after that meet pat, jm and jie2 for some revision.Follow by meeting Ja,CH,Rus at orchard.Mk want to talk then we talk at the void deck till 3++."85 marks for the wanton mee stall !! "

15/11/04

W:sunnY

King Kong
Today was funny, went to AB house to do art, with AB and Ja. Then later Jo joined us. hAhaZz Ja disturb Jo by calling his father name, then stupid Jo came distrubing me by keep saying he wanted to eat BH, hahaZz, then i make fun of his father name and kept saying i wanted to Banana, lol .Then Jo played the ring tone of hua xiang, and asked me weather i recalled anything.Well this song will remind me of HL. This bastard, he knew my past, no idea how did he knew it.aRrr !! Then went to play BB, well forgot how to play liao, the only thing i remember was how to take the rebound. Well, cannot blame, so long didnt play liao, then played a match of 4 on 4, wahH, oppenent got one guy v tall xia, but too bad he don know how to play center position, don't even know how to ka wei, waste of his height.Anyway we lose the game, if i wasnt wrong.hahAz. "Bb is fun!!"

14/11/04

W:rainy

weaker and weaker
getting weaker and weaker everyday. Can't even manage to do 25 push-up. Now only can do 2 pull up.sianZz, weakling manz. lolz, must train up before the course, hahaz, then don needa scared kanna tekkan, lolz. crappY, i mistaken the date thought monday is art paper, the R told me that today is 15th, WTH!!Didn't slept for one night then kanna attack by flu and headache virus, Sianz ah!! The world seem to be smelless and tasteless to me, lolz. "perseverence to the end, where my goals could be seem"

11/11/04

W: sunnY+drizzling

A day of fun
Early in the morning AB came to my house, then we went cycling, cause i needa take the pictures for the ovservational drawing.We went cycling around PRP , i took all the picture of flowers.Then we went home, back to my house, AB do his art while i study geography, hahazZ, this time die die must get a A for geography. Then we went down to have lunch, hahaz, my mum's treat. After lunch, came back to my house and play chinese chess, this crappyY cousin, whenever i almost winning liao, he set traps waiting for me to walk into it then make a turnover, and ended up he won 5 and i only won one.Then he use my computer to check mail and chat, this bastard, going around making fun of others, LOL.Then went to play bb around his house. When i reached home, my brother told me that the film can only be ready by sat, as he went to another shop to ask, because the shop we usually wash our film didn't open. So irritating.haiz... then only can start my art on sat, don't know weather enough time anot. Anyway today was a fun day. "waiting can be tiring"

9/11/04

W:rainY

Ai qin de dao li
Whopee!! Another paper is gone, next paper is around 1 week later, now can slack for the time being. Well got some confident that i can get at least a B for my chemistry.Right after exam, went home to take the form to pass up to mr lim, went back to school, can't find him anywhere around the school while his car was still parking in school. Meet mrs ng, she asked me how was my maths, i say alright, then she asked PAPER 2?? well i replied still managable,hahaz she knows that paper 2 is always my weakness.. lolz it's not that difficult actually, i belive even after the moderation i still can get a pass, well hope so... Then went home to play NBA and Gundam seed. In the afternoon, jie2 called me to accompany her to bugis and meet PS, took bus number 12 there, didn't realise that she was up to something. Met PS, she washed my brain with her dao li, then talk about her past, ai qin ping lun, aRr stupid jie2 spill out the bean.hahaZz, then jie2 so scare that i will be angry with her for sharing my secret to PS.Well does i look like a petty guy?hahaZz, maybe?Then went around bugis with them.After that went home with jie2. "keep on waiting" " The choice is up to you, just make sure that you wouldn't regret it" that what PS told me. Well of course i know that time cannot be rewind, not like a cassette which can be rewinded.
She made my mind confused again. "everyone have regrets, just that did u made ur effort of trying ur best?"

07/11/04

W:rainY

Going for it
Went to have body checkup early at 8++, need doctor to fill up the medical form for the ci course.Then doc gave me tetanus injection and wish me good luck. caring doctor. this year is probably the year i visited the doc most, 4th time. Didn't tell doc about the ligament injury thingy, if told her most probably i will be consider as unfit for the course. I also don't why am i going back as CI, probably because of sir S, and maybe to repay EVSS. In the evening went studying with jie2, talk lots of craps and of course the maths P1. Then went to AB house to study, he taught me how to use french curve. Then went home to pack my thingy as those furniture moved from G cause changes in the room, created a place to put the trophies of my brothers, sister and I !! "Medals of honour!!" so fun! And a shelve to put those memorable thingy from people who once care for me."sweet memories" " Loves those thingy manZz, especially the 33 stars from S""Going for the course, decided." ' i will make it, to poly, i will pass my maths.!!'

06/11/2004

W:sunnY with dark cloud

Cheers for her
Today spend the late morning to early afternoon studying at WS mac with ZY. Amazingly she brought the cd i burned last year, while i had long forgot about it that( that was the cd i burned for her), so sorry about that, i don't remember things she remembered. Well, then went to arcade, ended up walking around there then played 2 very stupid game. After playing, went to PRP, cause she wanted to go there collect star fish. We ended up destorying ants holes. Then went home.Cheers for ZY, she found her star le, she didn't tell me but i found out.HahaZz that guy also from ndp de, very tall guy, he was the left marker that time if i am not wrong. If there is someone controlling the fate, i want to thanks the person for letting me get to know 2 27s gers and everyone that once care and concern for me.Feel like saying sorry to Jmei, for hurting her feeling in the past.This secondary school life, is full of waiting, waiting here and there, lots of time wasted. This 2 27's gers both has stab a flag into my heart, I will let all my past memories fade ot holding these memories anymore, forgot all those promises i made, everything, leading a life of my own, a world the only belong to me.i am simply a guy with nothing. If i met another 27th girl, maybe she will be the one to accompany me through my life . HahaZz. Write so many shit today."a indecisive guy","a simple guy living in his own world"

05/11/2004

W: rainY

That the problem
Well today was all the while with my M, then went for checkup for my knee at CGH, asked the doctor weather i can run but he say better don't run for the next 4 week. But if i cant run, how can i attend the ci course ? Well then ask S and ZY for comment, and one say up to your choice another says i support your choice."Should i lie the way through or should i don't go for the course?"

2/11/04

Md: - W: sunny

Losing to myself
Today met jie2 early in the morning to sprint for the last lap of revision. Social Studies, one of my best subject during secondary 4, given me a huge disappointment, i might fail as i failed to complete the last 2 questions of SBQ, 13 out of 50 flew away just like that, due to poor time management. But no point crying over a spilt milk. Then during the afternoon, met SD to study a the CPF' KFC. Then went home to sleep. After which, go for tuition,then a guy from PA called me that i have been selected for the CI course,what a luck, i can't work right after my O(which could lessen the financial burden on my M).HaiZz, can only start working in mid december,if only i could started working now and ease the burden on my M. JM asked me weather i knew about the incident of J's M has passed away. This question led me thought about the death of my uncle who has also just passed away. Nowadays whenever i am alone, i will think of the past memories of those people and animals who left me, which will cause saddness in my heart."Lonliness cause sorrow memories..."

31/10/04

Md:fine W: rainY

Another day wasted
Wakey at 10plus today, then stared at the books, didn't really study, got distracted by those events happened in the past few days. Then GZ came with furnitures from G, travelled here and there on the lorry of GZ. The feeling was fantastic when i was sitting behind the lorry in the open air, simply loves the kind of feeling. Learn a lesson from B , he taught me that life is uncertain but death is certain."we should be glad that we woke up today to fufill our duties and dreams"

30/10/04

Md:=( W:sunNy +drizzling

Death is sudden and unpredictable
Today was a slacking day, in the morning studied with jie2 till afternoon then went for lunch.As i went home, rececived a sad news from my brother that my uncle has passed away. I was shocked, feeling that it was too sudden, feeling sad too. He was one of those people that cares for me and all in a sudden, he's gone.Times files, recalling back the last time i saw him was during july. Another person who showered me with care and concern has left me, leaving those memories behind. J's M has also passed away, i received this news through AB, unbelivable to me, as i spoke to J's M on the phone a few days before that day, her voice didn't sound like she was sick. Wondering how was J feeling in the past few days? Feeling fear in my heart as i recalled the day where by stuart passed away. The vet told me that he will be fine for a few days,however he just left me without any farewell. Feel like crying whenever i recall the fact that stuart has left,i misses his companionship. "What if someone i care left tomorrow?" "what if i pass away the next min, where will i go to ? turn to a soul or just don exist anymore ? " "what will you want to do the most if u know that u will be gone the next day?"

29/10/04

Md:hApPy W:raiNy

it can be used again
Today, in the morning AB came to my house to study. As usual, we ended up going online.But this time, can't get into MU gamer, need to download new component, SiaZz aH. After studying till the afternoon, went to have lunch, met PS there.AB forgot to take the change from the stall owner then went to take, lucky the stall owner returned him.After lunch, went to play badminton with HG they all.Later during the evening, meet jie2 to study, she asked me to pray that venice will come out for O, cause she only studied venice for SS, LOL. Scare when she say that" aiya u sure can make it for XX subject de la". Cause once she said that for my Prelim geo, and i ended up getting an F9 for my geo(the 1st time i fail geo during sec 4 manZ, F9 somemore), so accurate,anyway it was my fault for failing my geo, over-confident liao therefore didn't really study for it. My sis's phone spoiled, due to the damage of dropping it down the stairs. Then she borrowed my phone to use.As i was boring, i took out my 6610 and dismantled it. To my surprise, after i put it back into pieces, it can be used again, whoppEe!! Saw some undeleted massages in the past, recalled some past things with her."Can i make it? 18 points?the promise?"

27/10/04

Md:=( W: sunnY /rainY

HapPy BirthdaYs
Today is S and ZY 16th birthday, happy birthday and may both of ur wishes come truth. This day was quite a boring day, wakey at 10plus, then study maths, after sometime around the afternoon, AB came to my house ,wanting to do the art prep work, however my house no printer. then ended up playing MU(an online game). Lose confident in my maths, haiZz , thinking too much on relationship liao, shit. Then went to play bb with AB and CH , quite fun, although we lose, (sori abt cant jumping high and running fast). Then went to WS to buy present for liang jie(LJ), stupid CH kept asking me what to buy. Then took so long to choose, kept me waiting outside WS looking after bikes. Then went to swing, follow up by eating. Ate alot, 1 noodle, 1 laksa, and 1 chicken rice.Using eating to overcome my sorrow. Sorry about having u accompanying me when i was down, thanks manZ CH. Then went home, addictted to MU kept playing. "Really friend forever?" is there any other choice "