21jun. Mon. green cloud

0 excution mistake for today's rehersal. great hopefully this will happen on the actual day too.

certainly the sore throat, running nose and dry cough is killing me. having hard time to control it while trying to stand still.

---- "

a asked: 'why u so garang?'
b : 'garang?'

a: as in doing everything urself
b: cos it's part of responsibility

a: there are also so other s around
b: but i suppose they wouldn want to bother, that's life. and if i dont ,then no one will.

conclusion
' why bother to make others life easier when it's going to make urs worst ?'

felt stupid at times . yes. for everything happening around.

---- "

'i am lost , nth can be done for this and perhaps let time and fate make the decision.'

------------23472106

20jun. Sun. Red Cloud

NRWC as traffic controller, alright although it's under hot sun without shelter, but at least it isnt boring.

--- "

'Why this?! I thought it's always like that?!'

sai ! how dare u said this! i have always trying to be nice to u guys, and u take all these privileges for something that it should be given.

Seriously at that point of time I was extremely >:( . Maybe not giving them these privileges that often would be a better choice, so that they wouldnt take it for granted.

i dislike people who treat others like shit, no giving others the basic respect.
--- "

And yes, now my life is revolving around these things ,

when u get this, u will expect more.
when u get this, u wont cherish it.
when u get this, u threw it aside.
when u get this, u will think 'that' is always better.

'one who never taste bitter will not appreciate the sweetness within.'

----------23522006



19jun. Sat. Purple wind

1 x major mistake
2 x minor mistake
unknown no. of unknown mistake

---------23301906

18jun. thurs. purple rain.

---- "

saw a dog at the road side.

instinct says: 'hello !! he gonna run across the road!'

action: slow down, almost stopping.

as i approaching, he just dashed across the road.

action: stop !

the owner smile, a sign of thank you.

alright lucky i followed my instinct, gosh.

well instinct helps at times like this =)

really miss him at this point of time, thou he have left us to another world 6 yrs ago . sigh.

give me another chance, i ll take good care of him.

sometimes in life it just take to lost certain things inorder to appreciate it.

----- "

things change drastically for the way he say things as compared to ytd. it's like a 360 degree change. aleight i guess it's human nature when they are just not in the mood. -_-"'

----- "

i made mistakes after mistakes which i usually don, and well thanks that no one notice it.

fatigue + problems alll over everywhere, both mentally and physically exhausted.

how i hope this guys can just take their own initiative to do certian things, instead of waiting for someone to push or serve them.

though it's irritating sometimes to handle people and situations. and ya a simple minded person like me doesnt like trouble. ohh well handling issues in shift, people of higher up and under me, people from other places (log, trans...) . and i realise it feels weird to speak a complete chinese sentence.(thanks to bus driver who doesnt understand angmo at alll) somehow or rather got so use to mixing angmo, dialect and chinese together. 'singlish' eh ?

but certainly i have pick up alot new stuffs in this process =)

for all the problems in life, i suppose i'll just blame on my stupidity and incompetent to solve certian puzzles and situations in life.

it certainly feels better after the ride 'flying' back.

simple and nice shirt. (Y)

there's alot of things going through mr brain.

hi mr headache, bloocknose.

'just realise my green ic is in the washing machine' ...

------ " ------ 19060018


17jun. thurs. purple rain.

certainly yes, affected even though 6th sense have told me so beforehand.

approaching the tip of the cliff, but still hope for miracles to happen.

hi mr sorethroat.


------" ------- 2300++1706

15jun. tues. purple cloud

it's tough. At first i tot, but life stated otherwise.

alright, face it, it's just another similar cycle, round and round.

gosh i seriously need some morale booster. morale meter running dry.

---- "

'never regret on decision i made, even though life state otherwise, i will never let this word appear in my dictionary.'

----" 15062300++

13jun. sun. breezy blue

a simple and blissful image i saw, a kid holding the hands of dad and mum swinging to and fro. :) and there i wonder why on other hand certain kids will nv have the chances to experience this in their life.

somehow or rather i misses those kids back in those days, their nonsense, their simple why why why, their willingness to learn etc etc ...

then this link me days back where there was a debate with one of my friends, why do couple hold hands? well well there's 1001 reasons for this. but then everyones got their answer for the same reason.

--- " --- " ---

'in life most things dont last forever, that's why treasure every moments while things last ... '

--- " 1306102150hrs

12jun. sat. -

*alright i am typing nonsense agn, incomplete sentences and meaningless stuffs. soo kindly jus ignore .

the less expected stuffs will always turn out .......

care, concern, comuncation is some of those impt ingredients , but . .. totally speechless. idk . idk . idk . u don say. i wldn know. i suppose that's ....

alright. shut!

i suppose this is just another roller coaster ride in life.

directional signs
< go here
> go there
> < meet

where am i heading to ?? ... somewhere in sg ...

things are actually simple , it just tat ..

some will always get the better parts in life, while some always dont .

some appreciate certian things in life, while some will never understand it.

well well ... like always said . that's life. sigh .


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - " 2355hrs120610

10jun. thu. grey cloud

i don't know, i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,i don't know,

i close my eyes and wonder...

---------- " ----------- 10jun,1150hrs.

09jun. wed. cloudy grey

wait + wait + wait... endless process of waiting today.

sore throat + heat rash + peeling. gosh .

---- " ----

07may. mon. breezy grey

need to change his stroke totally. it will take quite sometimes. gosh.

oh welll... time to squeeze more brain juice to think about stuffs, ideas and future.

a step back and u ll see.

take a step back,
things will be view differently,
ideas will be generate creatively,
and solutions will emerge out unknowingly.

at times of fustration,
it calm u down,
clear things out,
and enable u to react more appropriately.

there are many ways of doing it,
some through slping,
some through stoning,
while some simply through the means of rolling the eyeballs.

certain views shouldnt be trap,
just like a bird in the cage,
when the view of the world is limited to the views outside the cage,
free from the cage and things will be different.

--- " gosh ... nonsense again ...

wonder is situations part of the ingredients to make bonds stronger between humans ?

mr sore throat is here to visit my throat. -_-"'

nice music: smile of tears.

---- " ---- adios 07may@1110hrs

4jun. fri. sunny orange

'There is no limit to love's forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure.' - seriously like this quote from fortune cookie =)

Almost unable to make it on time this evening after soo much unforesee things. phew. lucky enuff. =)

after soo long and now i am towing manikin again. gosh i tot i couldn do it, but oh well, i did it, thou not fast but well...

tues, wed, thu, fri + tmr sat, it will be 5 day consecutive 'sun ing' session. gosh, i am turning far too 'black'(not brown), and that V neck tan .. gosh.

'i am glad u are around to brighten up the sky' =)

good luck to her and them for the friendly comp with AC and NTU tmr ! =)

---- " ----

02jun. wed. breezy blue

did some stuffs that based purely on the sudden urge, becos 'feeling say so'. something which i will seldom do? =) 'u know i know we know'.

simple equation, u + me = we = us = :)
---- " ----

27may. thu. blue breeze.

wanted to but choose another.

- wanted to swim in the morning, but ended up swimming in the evening.
- wanted to ride but forgot to take coupon + lazy to go up = take bus la ! (it's near anyway)
- wanted to eat here but saw him, so went to another coffee shop.
- wanted to go lib but lazy, sooo another day la uh.

wanted to , but didnt...

goooshhh. i am watching kong zi movie, certainly it's not exciting but it's .

it makes me ponder, ren dao, li yi, blah blah, but something for sure is that i totally agree on his teachings. dont know why too .

'in reality, there's always kindness and also cruelity'

'on a see-saw, if u are here, then i will always be there on the other side'

---- " ----- 27may2240hrs

26may, wed, grey grey dull dull


it's such simple logic yet i need someone to make me realise that, ' being nice is one thing, being silly is another. pls don be silly. ' thanks Pranav for that =)

this actually makes me ponder for really long, somehow or rather have the urge of sitting alone at the seaside to do some reflection.

i realize sometimes, or rather most of the time, i didn't notice the line between silly and nice. though i have once tell myself that, i will only help people who needs help and not those who want help.

thinking back, i felt silly for somethings i did in the past.

sometimes, being care is much easier than to care i suppose, at least less brain juice is being squeeze and method or styles varies from one to another. sometimes u wants to care but it's just that u have no idea how to go about it. oh well is that any book title 'art of caring' ?!

gosh! thermostat indicator = rising, water tank level = low, sneeze sneeze sneeze, itch throat ... my body is weird nowadays, cold shower + more fluid. - weather + diet + activities to blame i suppose.

---- " ---- 26may2249h

21may. fri. purple cloud

gosh! how could human's decision or reaction change so drastically according to his mood? lucky he's on good mood today. oh well, that's life.

sometimes, no matter how much you do in life, it just didnt beat the impression given/ potray to others.

well well, i suppose it's my turn to say 'you are getting me confuse'... well i hope to get a SUPER-BIG radar to read your thoughts and a ULTRA-SENSITIVE heart rate monitor to sense how you feel. omg! i am typing junks over here.

alot people says, fairy tales doesnt exist in reality, well well agree agree to a certain extend.

but still everyones have their very own 'fairy-tales' in their life.

but oh well, like what's commonly said, it takes 2 hands to clap, 2 hands to hold. do we need a chat over this?

there will always be expectations which were not state out/ stated out that are not fulfills, it will cause dissapointment. how i hope i have the confident to say it out, 'i wouldnt dissapoint u / u guys/ people around me.'

few moments i forgot, then i recalled when i was brushing teeth, and now it's forgotten agn !! my STM level just upgraded by itself ..

alright i just realise i am writing junks for this entry.

---- " ---- 0021hrs22may.

19may. Wed. red clouds

gosh. seriously i got no idea how to handle them for being rude, no-manners and now even making decision without asking ? alright i am not refering to all, it's always the same few. alright i suppose i failed to perform my secondary role well ? issit gen gap? (but they are the same age of mine) or issit that things differ as the batches diff ?

I seriously hate the feeling of being stuck in-between. c gives probs, a 'sqeeze' b agn, then b 'suck it up', then 'squeeze' the minimal of c. nv wants to take disciplinary actions on them, or rather believes that things shouldn be working that way. that's life, somehow being 'nice' to others means being 'mean' to urself.

shall figure out some ways to make things better. every problem given is a chance to learn and improve ya ?

and yes, i dislike this organisation by itself, after knowing more things. well guess my mates were right for saying me simple minded, after 'detach' from 'their side' and bother about things on my side.

alright, enough whining. yawns.

whining are good way to de-stress, i suppose.

after u whine, u left ur feelings here and carry on.

alright i just forgot what i was thinking a few moment ago in spilt sec. yawns aging, aging.

---- " ---- 19may2156hrs

17may. mon. na.

haha well well, it's just another cupid's prank's prank.

let's face it, if that's the fact then get over it ya ?pls dont feel bad or whatsoever and really really pls don bother or think about it anymore, since it has become the past. it will be better for you and me then =)

everyone make mistakes rite? u and i do make mistakes too. at least you have told me the situation before more complications comes in. =)

no worries, be happy, everything will be alright. smile =D

that's life, my destiny.

---- " ----

16may. sun. purple cloud

-----

it's just another cupid's prank i suppose? or that's life ?

Alright, i know what i should do, since i have opened the door and put my foot in the quicksand ...

*sigh* if only things were much simpler. but oh well nvm, cupid's prank, ll just do my best for all the ships.


.leaves.

here are some nonsense thoughts of mine while sitting on the train.

there was a myth saying that under this particular tree, if it's fallen leaf(brown) falls onto you, your wish will come true. if it's green then no.

upon knowing this, this guy decided to give it a try.

he stood under a tree, waiting for a fallen leaf to fall on him...

after 3 hrs of waiting,

he thought *there's not enough wind today, shall try again tomorrow*.

Then the moment he took a step off the spot he was standing, a gush of wind came and a piece of leave fall on the particular spot,

he sighed, 'nevermind, shall wait longer tomorrow'.

- 2nd day

same thing took a chair and sat under the tree.

it was a windy day, so he thought *more wind more leave more luck! just like the ad ' more birds more luck'*

after 5 hours of waiting

true enough, there were leaves falling but out of all only 2 (green) fall on him.

*i shall wait abit longer.* he told himself.

there the sun set, he gave up and left.

- 3rd day

he reached before sunrise, hoping that with a longer period of waiting time will increase his chances.

wind blow, leaves fall, brown leaves didnt fall onto him.

then a passerby came, the wind blew and brown leaf landed on her shoulder.

with his silly thought, he said 'today shall be the day ! since she got it !'

but he didnt got it.

- 4th day

same time, same place

being ignorance, he thought logically 'should i shift location ? but since this location havent had any fallen brown leave, this location should have higher probability then others.'

he was determined and remain at the same place.

- 3 months later

some passerby got it, some didnt.

he asked the tree 'mr tree, after 3 months of waiting why didnt any ur brown leaves fall onto me ?'

then the tree said 'because according to physic and newton laws, with wind +- 123 and leaves on location xy it will land on here and there ... only when wind +4 on direction a, b or c then it will land on ur location, but then now only a is brown sooo 1 of soooo many ... blah blah blah .'

being tired and angry. he stood up and walk away, then just right at that moment a brown leaf fall onto him... 'finally...' he smiled and understood.

--- " --- 16may0045hrs.

14may. fri. purple cloud

few moment ago, somemore said, 'more sai, more zai' which i agree, but then sometimes in the world of 'darkness'/ reality, it is 'more act, more 'zai' '.

few days ago, someone said 'i wish could be like bob .... .... simple minded .... ... '

few years ago, one of my working senior said, 'welcome to the world of complexity =)'

but still, i ll still stick to what i believes and adhere to.

--- " ---

there are soo many questions and what if s...

but oh well, why think so much ? sld thinking simple be the way ?

*'forget about those remarks, u are great yourself, just be yourself' - the team thinks so too, i suppose majority of the team are with U! so =)"

13may. thu. idk .

glad some of them knows the limit =) though there were still some minority demanding for more.

almost boarded the wrong bus , little did i realise the signage of the bus no. have swapped place until another bus arrived .gosh! what have gotten into my mind.

hmm, wonders.

feels like keeping quiet.

--- 2341hrs1305

10may. mon. purple cloud.

it's just how amazing things could happen when paths met.

rain = take bus = go makan at coffee shop = met my primary sch buddy's mum

just when u look back, u realise how fast time files.

----"----

On the train, I think and ponder, 1st, 2nd, 3rd ...

ta boleh tahan liao, shall lay some of my private thoughts out here.

true or false ?

if it's really really true then what am i suppose to do ? step forward ? backward? stand still? i have decided on a decision myself, but oh well...

alright i am getting too comfortable with this person. but ...

if it's true then it will somehow or rather that it's similar to 1st and 3rd, but in different aspects i suppose. the people, the situations, the solution/ decision.

tried to find the most suitable solution, may it be selfish ones, better ones but still things somehow or rather yi bei ju shou chang. the truth is - there is no perfect solution to it.

the truth is, if it's true then i am not as good as what u think, there's too many flaws in me.

why others lead a simple life, not getting into these messy situations while some will always encounter such complicated situations. how i wish things could be simpler.

mr fortune teller, tell me my fortune will u?
mr counselor, tell me the most appropriate solution will u?
mr consequence, tell me the consequence of all possible steps will u?

ooooh well... L policy.. troublesome as always.

--- " ---

everyone have weakness, for me, being indecisive and unconfident are always the biggest 2. and .... STM where things are always forgotten..

well here i am confuse too. tell me true or false .

well well, thats life.

well well well good night. CS in few hrs time ..

--- " --- 11may0058hrs

09may. sun. windy blue

----"-----

finally ! i can smell it !! 91 days more to go ! hahha free from the liability ! 3 mths !

i woke up with a feeling that 'alright, another rejection this year' such a strong feeling... ok anyway i shldn look forward in the slimmmm chance of getting in.

alright i suppose i shall put this aside and look over to other alternative which will serve the similar purpose i want to achieve in life.

there come to the same dilemma , $$ vs interest, goverment sector (hospital, para medic) or private sector (drug processing)... well well 3 mths

i suppose i not giving up yet, shall try 1 more time, so shall work for 1 year first then see how. dead stubborn uh ? hahha

---

looking out at those vegetation and sky, it just makes me wonder my 'aspect' as a good leader.

though it's like model answer, but oh well ...
- lead by example
- fight for the well being or unfair treatment
- giving clear direction and instruction
- earn trust and respect in them

yup gonna change. more firm.
---"---

my mother day's gift = packing kitchen =x hahhaha

gosh! on batt, and it's gg low ! adios

there's so much i want to type it out but well, i forgot due to STM =x

------ 10may0021hrs

06may. thu. still wind

---

likes barber/hairdresser who are meticulous about your hair .

this was the second shop that i patronise with the hair dresser being so particular about the minor detail of ur hair. Well it's just hair, why bother to be so particular about it? i suppose it's the hair dresser, well well it's the efforts that count. =)

---

1 x update + 1 x 'un- inform' info ... = changes needed = working outside office hrs = =(

it's isnt that i am petty about doing work at home, but these things could have been avoided, by having information passed down properly. that last min update is understandable but but but the 'un-inform' info could have 'kill' ppl tmr ...

no ones like last min changes, i suppose. look on the good side will be at least i know it just now (7pm) than tmr morning (which will be really wtfish!).

actually things wldn be soo troublesome if we just follow the 'format', keep using those who are more hardworking, but it all come down to the consideration of practicality, fairness and welfare. well well well, it might not be the best but still at least it's better .

some old thoughts strike me again: ' same pa*, same ran*, why do some have to do more?'

well well, that's life i suppose. haiz just 'do more, learn more' ...

--- 2309hrs06052010

3may. mon. -

---"---

someone told me this. i find it interesting.
not exactly the same as told, as i forgot here and there due to STM ..

x: is this the right one?
cupid: yes! this is the right one!
x: -_-''', but u also said the same thing when i asked u about previous one! (when it turn out not to be the right one)
cupid:well it's the right one, but i didnt said that there wouldnt be another one =x
x: .... ... then will there be another RIGHT one ?????!!
cupid: well that will be a SURPRISE =D
cupid thoughts: well u will have experience through all this right one inorder to meet the RIGHT one ...

--- " ---

there isnt a fullproof solutions to some of the problems, somethings have to be compromised in order to achieve certain things, u just cant achieve everything. tat's life ..

--- " ---

at this point onward, some part of the history will repeat itself while some will not.

little did i realised i have just fallen into a pit unknowingly while walking through this stretch of road. ... that's life ...

3 = (-2 -1) = (x3, 2.1 =?)

-- " -- 0014hrs040510 adios