was it luck or training not enough ?

nowcast: disappointed

heart was like beating faster and faster, drew lots, heat one number 6, SLSS surfboard no. 6 missing, leaving me no choice but to use NUS surf board, strong currents/ waves, so high that you have trouble looking for the buoy, unlike SLSS board this board keep taking in water from the front.. really have much trouble propelling it forward, everyones turning at the same point and i got stuck, finally manage to catch up a 5th placing, someone capsized right infront of me, leaving me stucking there ... rotten luck, placing got all the way back. in my mind i was only thinking of giving up, where my body is still trying so hard... pull pull pull and manage to get back to 5th position again... after the last turning point, 6th placing was so close to me, and damn me, off position towards the finishing pole, shift shift shift and there goes my 5th placing ... the hope to final... completed the heat with 6 position, which is just 1 more position inorder to get into final .. lot number 6, with position no. 6, if only i got SLSS number 6 board too ... Was it luck ? or training not enough ? or was it the problem with stress ? something i trained so hard for .. ya you are right, L = Loser (i know u don mean it but ..) ... I cant even do well in my pet event ..

Andy and i manage to get into finals for board rescue, hope that luck will be on our side, hope he dont swim off position again, jiayou.

There were alot of people getting into finals, rachel (board race), KT, PYK and PL (board paddling), WS and Peg (board rescue), chris and peg torpedo tude rescue, Jin and Marv (ironman /woman), woman's taplin... good job guys ..

nowcast: fear/ anxious

less than 2 days to open water comp.. 2 Js also in surfing .. hope things will turn out fine, scare like last year, lost in the event that i train hard in .. try my best .. no regrets ..

competitions where there is no timings to gauge.. only you urself knows that have u done your best ... where ur competitors are ur guideline...

nowcast: slight inner drizzle

Choice is made. I guess is for the better.. nv regret for the feelings and things done.. thanks for everything in the past, tiny.. Although there were ups and downs, I have choose to rem the ups and forget the downs.. when u are down do rem 2 look for me, ll be there always.. tata ..

Meet Kelvin Tan today on MRT while i was on my way to BL, hahaa all fate, if i didn't giv up my sit he wldn saw me .. he is my microB faci when i was in year2, a great faci who guide us correctly and tried to grade according to fairness. But i guess to alot people there were dislikes toward him. He spend 3 yrs in SP, 4 yrs in NUS studying science but afterall now he ended up in a 'insurance/ finacial advisor' kum part time RP faci. Wonder wonder.. If i keep on persuing my dream career/ ambition, it will certainly be a very long journey.. and thinking of 'finicial returns' for the career , i am stuck and lost ... will pharma industry boom in the future, other alternatives to benefit the society?

nowcast: stone

tick tock tick tock .. counting down towards 9 Oct where another 'restart button' will be press in life.. Cant wait to go into tekong, not because the army life inside, rather it just the thoughts that i 'faster go in faster come out'. Times now are like 'meaningless' to me, although carefree but there's no duties, no goals, no directions..

Sometimes when we take a step back and ask ourselve questions on why are we doing certain things, we cant find any answer to it. Sometimes when we ask, we might find that these actions are unnecessary/ meaningless, we'll stop. Sometimes when we didn bother to think about it, we'll just continue doing it... If there is a practical person, he/she will keep questionings/ thinking about things they should do/not. If there is a emotional person, he/she will just do things based on his/her intuition. If there is a simple person, he/ she will just do things without much thoughts, no matter is it a right or wrong thing. When facing works, studies, practicality/ feelings. When facing relationships with people, feelings over practicality. But what if things were another way round ?

Everyones have their childhood dreams, but as we grow older, some dreams will just get drifted further and further away.. for some alternative routes were taken.. soon people realise what they really want in life ...

Soon compeititions will be over, no more team trainings.. no more routine or responsibility to attend trainings regularly.. Guess after 6 & 7 of Sep, most likely will not see you guys again, will really miss the times with you guys..my memories written 'IN RP LIFESAVING TEAM' ..

nowcast: nothing ..

I felt stone stone de .. i know i know .. but still .. i ask myself ..

Trainings is still not enough for me ... i need more trainings to boost .. sian .. last beach trg tmr .. damn !

weather: dwn

it's really scary... But i guess there's nothing more i can do... I feel hopeless. Not knowing what happened, what are the problems, what are the solutions to it...All I hope for is just to create more simple happy memories for the rest of the 1 and the 1/2 mth ... I dont mind the bites, the smacks, the piggy backs ... all i hope is ...

Feeling dwn... just simply didn want to concentrate on other things .. obstacle swim timing back to square one .. no improvement but 'deprovement' ... comp ? forget about it ...

complains comes again, don't understand that why she keep having prejudice against her own daughter. Why did you cover your mind with her 'bads' but not her 'goods' ?? if this carry on, with such a mindset, you will only make the fortune telling come true, so will you really be happy with that? ....

weather: worries

things ok ? accident? something happen? emo? avoidance? what is it?? unease ... I cant say too much cos there's no one right for me to turn to ..

---

how i hope i can take part for this year taplin relay.. Reason is because there's a chance of getting into final .. it's only when the players of team B are being tap into their area of strength .. luck ..

Focus .. get it done for once ..

---

md: -

what is love to you? issit something which can only be experience with the very special person or issit something that can be experience with anybody out there? Do love experience exist ? having more relationship more different people will gain more experience? So it means that flirting will be the better choice instead of being faithful to one...

But to me there will always be a different between someone special and someone not, there will always be a line to differentiate that... I believes that special love cannot be share around, to anybody.. I learn to speak my mind cos i don't wan to hide here and there where masks is all over, speaking out the truth is important, at the very least there will be more understanding towards one another.

I guess, i feel , like right from the start, there will always be the person who will weighs more than me... no matter what i did.. how i try ..

things will still end like the past .. it's just like a cycle round and round .. dont understand, tell me why ..

wonders wonder ... what's split personality?

last day coaching little max .. ok there was sort of sad feelings.. although is just a few days of coaching ...

unhappiness, selfish thoughts ... growing up, knowing more things ... don ask me what's wrong, tell me .. i also don know .. deep in thoughts.. figuring out ..

md: -

Looking at parents around, looking at so many others around... They are really fortunate to have such a wonderful parents. Parents who will always be there for them, taking care of them.. I guess i would have grow up with a different personality with different mindset if I have such a wonderful parents...

guess tmr will be a tiring day, from 8 am- 1130am (coaching), then from 130pm-515pm (mindmax) ... nvm always live life to the fullness .. waste no time..

'pray that ur leg will recover soon' ...

md: -

thanks for the 'amour' :)

Days are boring spending times alone, when there's no one to talk to, no one to share ur success, happiness with, no one to 'pour' grumble to... sore throat, gum abrasion(don noe issit what people called wisdom tooth problem anot' ...

'nothing is constant because time is constantly ticking..'

ytd shld be a special day, today is olympic opening, tomorrow is NDP'08 ... but still i have to report to swimming pool for work for these 3 days.. no double pay also haiz .. just grumbling over here, back to work, guess having me taking the 7 days 1:1 intensive lessons for that little boy is somehow or rather 'fate' ba :).

no trg no trg no trg , haiyo!! sian..

'tick tok ... tick tok ... forgotten memories ...' do you still remember ??

md: -

'cherish and appreciate', I guess these are the two very important words that should be exist in everyone, esp to your close ones.

But sometimes people just tend to forget these 2 very simple yet important principles in life. from simple task like giving up sits on public transport for others to mum preparing dinner, did we notice that as times goes by some of us tend to take things for granted? Forget to say 2 simple words 'thank you' to the one giving up sit, forget to show that you appreciate what your mum have done for u.

Sometimes people tend to be so business minded, sometimes too 'hobbies' minded, sometimes too 'results' minded, sometimes getting too in depth into their own world sometimes, or sometimes just caring too much for themselves.. And sometimes all these different 'too much' minded result one getting more drifted away from their close ones... neglecting that times need to be spend together, care need to be given to one another, concerns need to be ask...

just as times passes, have you neglected the 2 basic yet important 'ingredients' in life? I guess i did ... never underestimate a simple smile to your friend, a simple 'thank you' to a stranger, a simple actions of appreciation to your love ones.

Nxt talking about inconsideration and irresponsible, which happen from taking public transport to simple chores at home. cant people just take up their own initiative to do things when things need to be done?

forgive and forget ... not lazy and forget ...

don't forget becos of laziness ...

md: breezy

first, AHCC classes, 3 of the student's parents inform me that they might want to stop coming after 2 more lesson, reason 'the facilities is not up to standard'. yes i do strongly agree with this and the management team of AHCC is still not doing anything about it. They ask me do i teach outside, all i said is i don't teach outside... haiz wasted.. anyway i only left with 8 more weeks to teach them which is like 8 more lesson ...

trg trg, not much of stamina trg on surfing, but much of a sprint trg by myself, i recall how i capsize during the final last year 'all becos of the slow start off'. this time round i will be more prepare, will do my v best, not just on the day itself, but on every trg also. hopefully... hard + smart work does pay off ..

md: -

Today? i guess was a bad day for me, scolding and cursing those people who are inconsiderate ... why cant this people just spare a thought for others ? well anyway, all of the unhappiness was just simply replace by her 'craziness', thanks baby PIG! :D for being there to tolerate my nonsenses and brightening my dull times up. :)

md: :)

Although Daytime was coaching and admin, but what actually happen later in the evening actually brighten up my mood. just simple fries + smile + little 'nonsense' = brighter :)

trg, finally i hit 39 in 50m, yeah ! tiny also hit her PB of 2m in her pet event :) great great :D

md: :)

my new hair style.
every first sight of it on my head will be a 'WAH, what happen to ur hair??!'

Some say nice, some say weird, some say doesn't suit me...
well something new i would say, but seriously i also don like the back part of the hairstyle, anyway just live with it lar, just for a few weeks. Hairs grow, hairs drop ...

50m Sprint, did break my PB ytd, although not as good as others but it's a shave of 3 sec of my previous PB.

50m fin, sad to say, did not even got near the PB hit during NUS comp..

dim integers as letters
u.5mi13s+'cr4zin355' = m3. h4pp7
u.3m0/qui3t= m3.54d

5h4r3

m3.10v3.Pi9

3nd.

md: cloudy

unhappy times...

- bad flu + cough + cannot speak properly
- went for a SL interview but cant speak properly due to the phlegm stuck in my throat
- worries over a no batt phone
- home early no dinner, eat together, go alone...
- uncontactable
- when things are not open to each other..
- when TV or other things is more important, just when a listening ears is needed..

bad mood days .. come to an end ...

md: -

Coaching Coaching ... then Admin Admin.. okok Nxt was the round de campus relay: Was very dissapointed with those LifeSavers who have sign up but didn turn up, which shows their sense of 'responsibility', haiz. Then was a very relax run, was panting a little and little struggle at first but after those it became a relax run i would say, not slow but there's a momentum there. whoPpeEe manage to hit my PB of 6m 07sec! great gonna aim for 5min alrd =) gonna train hard for national!

md: momo

Last day teaching those kids from PCS BB.. Gonna transfer back to Admiral as NTUC classes are resuming back to normal. This was the first class I officially took, from their first lesson to now(from the day they didn't know anything to now able to do F.kick and BF.kick) and now I have to really say good bye to all of them.. Really hate to leave them... Guess this was the result of bonding ba, not convalent bond la .. miss u kids lotsa..

nxt nxt, it was kind of disappointed to see the number of turn out for land training. This actually reflect on the team itself, where people are not really interested in training together as a team.

ok all the way back to NUS invitational last saturday, did not break my PB for 200m ob swim but did way better as compared to last year national, feel that i could have done better (train to hit 3m for this year national). Rope throw, miss on the first try, manage to get it on the 2nd try. 4x50m medley relay(fin), hit PB of 27sec, hope to hit 25sec for national.

md: -

whoO nothing much to mention, just realise that there are so many foods i want to eat at my house opp coffee shop, the $2 wanton mee, chicken noodle, chicken rice. the $2.5 fishball noodle, handmade noodle. then the western food also! goreng pisang ! It has been a very long time since i last ate them.

there was something that has really pissed me of over at boon lay int, while waiting for the bus to arena CC, and this minor incident made me think about why local detest certain group of the foreigners.

They does inconsiderate things like:
a) resting their leg on the sitting bar infront of them (for goodness sake will you want to sit on something that someone have step before, moreover you never know what they have step on beforehand.).
b) talking loudly when the person is just next to them
c) spitting on road and pavement (wth if you are spitting on the grass or drain then it might be ok) BUT you are spitting your mucus + saliva on areas that people walk on !!
d) Throwing litters everywhere (hope that you guys will kanna CWO!)
e) Not giving way to alighting passagers (next time you block my way while i am alighting don't blame me for my action)

Of cause this inconsiderate things are not just done by them, there were some local do it themselves... SO Singaporeans please be more considerate and set a good example to the foreigners in Singapore.

Next next.. met dennis at koufu today! he ran towards the drink counter and paid for my order, and that shock me.. :)

'Once my teacher, always my teacher' no matter what you have taught me, as long as you are the one that I have once acknowledge as a good teacher, you will always be .

md: -

The first LifeSaving Camp was finally held. After so much 'call off' of camps in the previous years, due to reasons... Ok the year 1 this year was 'eye' opener to me, there were people with very different culture, character, attitude.

I guess my task of 'passing down' skills of open water have been done. I see the willingness to try more, the crave to know more in most of them.

This camp wouldn be such a success without zhuang, the energizer of the team. Also the people working behind the stage, like yk, lf, adriel.

Thanks tiny pig alot for staying by my side when i having really bad fever after the return from arena ;)

another very important thing is the 'finally' change of attitude in gary after 2 year, it's a good thing i would say. Finally he understand that a IG dont survive by having good players to win compeitition, rather it survive by a group of commited people who have bonded and love the IG and willing to 'train' to improve. TEAM . teammates + commitment = existance of IG, champion - team commitment = existance of IG superficially...

'shi shi wu chang' = nothing is permenent ...

'mind over body' challenge ...

md: -

- support, complement weakness...

- not to blame but find solutions...

md: -

Interesting incident that happen on the train. There was this person sitting beside me keep on dozing to my side, my first thought was er... wth... but then later I think about it actually i did the same thing when i am very tired, I will tend to lend toward one side. Perhaps she was very tired at that point of time. then with the jer of the train this person woke up, saying sorry. I repiled 'orh' with a emotionless face.. After which the cycle just carry on and on, 'sit straight, lend toward shoulder, then lend toward forearm, then sit straight again' until the train stop at cck. my reaction was .. haiyo don care la nvm ba.

come think about the reaction, what will be the possible reaction:
- stand up, leave the sit
- tap the person shoulder, tell the person about the situation
+ bo chap, ignore the situation, just let the person be as he/ she might be too tired
- the LOL reaction, 'hey you can have my shoulder...' guy to guy might seem gay, guy to girl might seem wrong haha..

Then i was thinking, I shouldn't blame people for that... this set me ponder a question, 'what will be the best answer to show the person that you have really accepted his/her apology?', to me i think the best answer to it is simply a genuine 'smile' from the bottom of your heart. :)

mind set to training, last competition, all I hope is just to participate for still water relay (fin) and open water surfing. Gonna get serious .. concentration . 100% for each training = more then 100% in competition.

md: -

hmm today ?? Felt relieve.. cos able to complete the task of bringing a kid name zhong ping into water haha, also they were able to perform relatively ok for the task today. taking private classes feel way different as compared to Childcare classes.

Nxt nxt while makaning fried rice at the coffee shop near teddy bear, suddenly i wonder that it will be SoooOOo good if we get to choose the ingredients we want in the fried rice like yong toufu pattern.

MTG, last lesson for Justin and Shuen Wei.. Ok now all the 'problematic' kids have left. They are just like challenges for me to overcome. Behavior, slow learning pace, low attention span... Although J have been a 'disrupt' to the class, I hope that he will continue the program, and see the improvement in him. I do understand that not all teachers/ trainers will want him to continue the program as they see the 'disability,'ADHD' as something uncurable or someone in the 'group' which shouldn't be include in this program, but i strongly think otherwise. Kids in the class might not understand his situation, but we as a trainer should...

Really hope that i can join 50m finning.. concentration, determination..

md: -

Thursday was an hell day after so many years.. whole body aching, head also ache haiz .. thanks tiny for 'nagging' me to take panadols.. it was a long time ago since my last 'heavyhead'. nv want the tupid feeling again. then come into my mind, what could be the root cause to it? think think ..

Finally reaching a almost complete point on the project, although it's not a really 'BIG' project afterall. But there's the sense of satisfaction when things are being done properly and have some praise comes along with it. There will be some carry on stuffs to do, e.g. changing the amount of boxes on card, also purchasing of stock up gift from aunty pauline.

tomorrow ? busy day at north... SLI admiralty till 10am then WL mtg from 1130am to 315pm..

People might ask, why do you work without knowing how much you are being paid? It will just be a word answer 'experiences'.

somethings, sometimes there were other factors to consider rather than just being practical about pay and salaries. Yes, people do work for money. But never be blinded by $$. Cause it might result in losing more precious things in life..

md: -

nothing much today...

- went down to Admiralty cc to discuss about the reward program
- Dry trg with BB team, gary lorz
- leg don't listen, she don't wait
- got a small penknife cut on middle left finger

words out from my mouth is just nonsense, unreliable? other ppl words is always more 'trustable' .... why??

________-_________-__

'yi ming, er yun, san feng shui'

md: :)

simple + happy DAY :)

bom bom bOM

md: L

Bomb + bOmb + boMb = BOMB !

a) very unhappy with the changes over at TNT side, timing shift change from 8pm - 8am then 6pm - 6am NOW 12pm to 8pm... wtf you guys changes like no body business, what can i say ? U guys are just SUCKS at planning and management ! Don recruit people if u guys gg to change things like this bloody hell!

b) becos of SLI trg, took a cab down, earn lesser , pocket burn bIG big hole ... nvm at least learn alot in the trg - case close -

c) receive a call from Te (the **&$%^&) TNT, asking me is it possible to work 6 days a week with the timing of 12pm - 8pm ... If i agree to U , I will have to give up coaching DUMBASS, cant you use your brain to think why people choose night shift job ?! it's either they dont wan to work in the day or they got things occupied in the day la.. please please use more brains la.. KNS..

d) unhappy + tired & unhappy = unable to function properly = more unhappy , guess i am partly to be blame for that .. sorry :(

nevertheless there are also things that have perk me up during some point of the day...
tiny pig msg and surprise :) thankie

md: -

Responsible is the word which have made life so complicated, things would have been much simple if choice were made according to personal benefits. Being responsible is one of the principles that i will stick to for life, cos this is the way i choose to...

so much things cork up, over at TNT side, timing changes and there were lots of other changes. changes come even before i can settle down with the present one.. v soon there will be more decisions ...

CBR 150 vs Pulsar 180
which one will be a better choice ??
hmm
fuel saving: P
design: same same but CBR don look good with a box attached to it
power: C
spare part avaliable: think C
machine price: C will be cheaper...

HMMmmMmmm ....

md: -

wah wah wah !! think my lungs will turn black as time passes over there :( keeping taking in 2nd hand smoke.. haiz .. muscle slacking also , keep giving myself excuses not to train in the morning, 'aiyo do it tmr la, today tired' haha tml tml and tml haven come, mus be more discipline !buck buck UP! thanks tiny for the snacks in the lunch box!:D

don think i coach well, sort of demoralised, guess need use my brain juice to think how to make things better. Hope to earn enough to get a bike for myself, more convenient and save transportation fees.

okok that's for past few days,

today, learn alot of things from nataniel, the training is fulfilling, although i was quite reluctant to get into the water with the sch trunk.. I am consider unlucky not able to have a swim coach when i was young, somehow or rather, i am consider lucky being able to swim now and getting BM. how i wish there were people out there teaching me the proper swimming techniques.

thanks tiny pig for the lunch at Eunos :)

tmr will be starting work earlier at 12pm, hope that there will not be much changes.

md:

TNT HR <-> job agency .. cork up! ...

now there are so many problems.. haiz .. working days, pay system ... haiyo wth lah ...

....

md:

- bad working experience, with those Mals.

- received enlistment letter, gg in on 09 Oct, 1030.

md: high .. lo

yes! i have finally found a job which fitted in perfectly into my time slot. which means it wouldn't affect my coaching much at all, as the job

location: Loyang
night shift time slot: 8pm to 8am. (4days/ week)

this job was found through Mansfield agency, which i think is far more professional as compare to recruit express just by looking at the way they handle things.

BUT certainly there will be some sacrifices in the future, might not be able to attend trainings, might not be able to acc her, might not .... might not ... :(

'life's just like a chess game, every step u take will affect the way you are gg to continue , there's no turning back'

md: - wed: oreo cheese cake was great! :D












--.. changing changing, playing different role in life might not be easy, but it is also not as difficult as you think. me? my role, as a trainer, as a coach, as a student, as a friend ... ... Different role require different shift in 'faces'. sound complicated.. trying my best to put these thoughts out into word. 'how well can you play these different role in life?', they requires different qualities, different purpose.. 'know my role and play it well'

..--..
Went cycling with butt zy, awWWww it's all the way to NYP, 'to there trip' : from bedok south - old tamp road - hg - amk - yck - NYP | 'come back trip': NYP - yck - amk - serangoon - paya lebar - kebangan - bedok south| which trip is longer and more hedious? haha it's the to there part which took us 2 hours and 23km. coming back only took 1hr and 15 mins with a distance of 16 or 17 km.. forgotten. went exploring NYP CCAs, canteen ... CCAs there were similar to those we have in RP.

food we had last week at bedok market .











-- .. -- ..

md: shower

don wan to put those things into memories corner . . .

' superficial' + internal froze , i cant change it ...

can i say something ??

md: SunShine

whOOo whole morning + afternoon at home ... not rotting at home, but doing some minor housework + resume. something that i am proud of today : I HAVE FINALLY COMPLETE WRITING MY RESUME after soOoooooOOoo long.

TINY's happy today toO! cos she manage to hit on the dot for her problem statement + compliments from her faci ! great job :)!

There were so much changes, misses the school days where things are so 'schduled' or routine i would say.. currently working as freelance at MTG and SLI, hmm things are so unpredictable, changes every weeks ... Looking for part time jobs in healthcare industry, hope to gain more experience, pay doesn matter ... If manage to find one more stable part time, will consider sending in 'resign letter' in MTG side.

Reason for quiting at MTG side: after the 'reshuffle' button being press, lots of things changes, classes change, lesser classes as most goes to the new full timer. feel like not needed there.. So why not press the 'go' button ourself before them? haha JG should understand this para the most la uh ..

md: nil

Collected private O cert at MOE ... then went around searching for nice egg tarts with CH ( cos he wanna buy ....... ). It seem that most of us have realize the importance of saving now.At the time we reach upper secondary, we have being given the privilege to control 'our own financial' independently, whereas most of us have made a very big mistake by spending extravagantly.. from there we learn from our mistakes as we grow ... part and parcel of life ...

Bus home, I would say there are so much coincidence on the trip back home, saw MF on bus 12 and then HL when alighting bus 12 to change for bus 28 ...

hope to be enlisted as soon as possible ...

- END -

md: -

Trg @ SLI, gaining more knowledge about coaching babies in pool.
Some phrase: 5 sense sitmulation, short simple words, gaining independent in water.
So what do Singapore's parents hope to see or achieve when sending their baby for swimming lesson? wonder wonder .. thinking at different perspective .. parents with swimming experience, parents without swimming knowledge? If ... what will i want to see ?

last day taking my monday class @ mindmax, cos they just employed a new full timer at WL, so she will be taking over my mon class ... hmm yup will miss them, those kids...

uploaded selected photos for Cambodia trip @ http://wavekai.spaces.live.com/photos/cns!A51C9A78E2AEE06!676/
:D

md: cloudy

- ups and downs just like roller coaster...

- A feeling that sensed like the past, as if history gg to happen again ...

- life's a mess now ... time management gone haywire ...

- gonna uploads photos soon when have time...

md: :)



first time having rash at Cambodia which have spread or 'transfer' to other part of the body...
itch itch + swollen little red bums ...

palm skins peeling off

doc say allergy reaction ...

PANCAKES!! =D














mickey --> many mickeys --> teddy on bed

trg as usual .. felt that i am not moving in water ... aWww hate this feeling...

met one of the student's parent, she want to change his class as he is having alot of activities on mon but he want to stay in my class ...

md:

it has been almost 1 week...

Coming back, it's a mixed feelings, happy + sad, looking forward to + hoping time to freeze ...

Gg there surely need some times to adapt to it, away from family, tiny, friends, students in sg ++++ ALSO THE SWIMMING POOL, sort of missing it too. Beside building eco garden for CCAMH (centre for children and adolescent mental health), there was also the exploration of the culture over there and 'shopping' + bargaining skill.

my duty, beside building eco garden was to stop bleeding for people. Guess i am one of those who have created 'bio hazard' waste haha...

experiences there was fruitful:
- building the eco garden was not an easy task at all, the land, the people, the plan.
- everyday there will always be at least one problem arises.

our planning was too superficial. On another hand, the Dr Samba (the person incharge) was someone who look into details, every minor detail. guess we take things too lightly as we are not gg to be the one maintaining the garden and looking at it in the future, just there to built and go. this was the wrong mentality to started off with, where many people in the team were pissed off with the Dr comments and requests, (rework, redo, undo). some were on the edge of giving up when facing the 'fussy client'.

Some said they should appreciate us for helping them to build, still ask for so much more... some think that they just want the hospital to look good, since we are given a opportunity to do it, we have to do it well. we are actually the ones who will benefit more, the learning , the experiences. People there are able to build much better then we students from sg.

thanks for the help they provided, if not we will not be able to complete the project. reason being, none of us have knowledge or experience about building. removing dead trees, grass, leveling of land, marking of layout, changing of plans, digging holes, putting bricks, putting tiles, cementing, planting.... finally we completed something that most of us are proud of ! :)

misses the kids there, donald duck, mickey mouse, peeing king, piong piong, benja, ueni...



<- benja :)








in this trip, i would say that there are more happy memories then unhappy ones.
the life there was slow and simple...

Back to singapore, back to those rushing and complicated life... so much things(problems, unhappiness) have happened back here in the 2 weeks while i was away.

times files... today, another student finished his 25th lesson... very soon, there will be 3 more student completing... enjoy teaching them, even though some were rather mischievous. the best thing was hearing improvement in the students, esp justin who have improved in his daily life as stated from his father. hope one day this boy will really understand the efforts his parents put in for him in order to make him a 'normal' boy...

hope that i will be able to be enrol into local Uni...

hope everything is just simple and real ....

nothing is constant except changes...

sometimes i am really too sensitive .. sorry:(

another trough

md:

he thought it was perfect,
she's just too perfect to him...
just like a gift from heaven..

things changes,
distance drift further,
whenever she's left alone,
negative thoughts wander around.

isn't things good now ?

tried.. but ..
still ... not good enough ...

hope that those smiles was real ..
hope those things said was true ..
hope there wasnt any mask on..
he was nothing more, nothing less than a routine to her..

To him, she's someone he want to care and protect..
someone to share and see he's ups and downs, strength and weakness..
someone to do things together.
someone who cant just simply replace by anyone

hope she will look on the brighter side.. instead of darker side.

can someone just tell me what's happening? what should i do ?

hope this 'trough' will bounce up ...

md: -

- burnt, dried skin :( (effect of chlorine + sun)

- some ppl says it's stupid to work/ study according to your passion, what matter more is the income u will be earning in the future. high living, realistic, ppl just cant simply work for passion. agree ?

But i think what matters more should be the work impact towards others, towards the society. Also how much far are you willing to go into. All types of jobs and occupation do contribute to the society. But one should nv do things that is not 'morally correct' in order to earn more.

Taxis ard SG, peak hours, off peak hours, CBD sub charge, booking sub charges +++ most taxi drivers are also v practical about things. once i heard from a uncle saying, nv stand just right after the ERP (outside the CBD area), u will nv get a cab. some taxi drivers even just wait around the CBD area for calls (taxi booking) in order to earn a $3.5 more. imagine u need a cab in the peak hour(35% extra) + in the CBD area ($3) + $2.80 + maybe booking fees ($3.5), just before u start to travel, u will need to pay at least almost $10! living cost is rising in SG.....

md: -

Ubin was fun, staying over a house at ubin, cooking macoroni, first aiding senario ...

not perfect, i do have flaws, in fact there were alot it...

md:

Last Day:
Last day of school was great, no ppt + minimum research = slacking day.. haha thankie to tiny baby for the hot dog bun and the effort to deliver it :)

somethings in life have come to an end:
- those presentations and lesson
- classmates
- library (books)

but somethings will continues:
- tiny
- friendships
- trainings
- learning

Avontuur Race:
great RACE !! great experiences ! =D
thanks yk for forming YK2 =)

Start off with good lead with yk's good knowledge of the woodland location and jogging around,
yk's got serious cramp
lost our lead at the rock climbing station (arrhHh we drop our map on the grass which lack behind 15 - 20 mins)
teams wander around at the cross junction for 10mins (NO DIRECTION GIVEN!!)
overtake some teams at bearing stations
lesser walking distance, same destination (thanks to yk's shortcut)
climbing up to mos code station was a torture, it's soOOoo HIGH!!
lots of ppl cramps, they carry on with determination after some rest
abseiling: climb high, fall high (aWwW)
snorkeling: big fat goggle + tube was a great burden
calf cramps at TRCC
finish @ 5th
people that we got to know there:
- meiqi
- the organizer (don noe what's her name uh)

Thanks yk , perform with his condition of having fever, flu + sore throat.

Graduation High tea:

- photos taking
- memories video @ tanglin to woodland
farewell - RP -
bye to all fellow SAS batch '05 and faci s

some great faci to mentions:
Dennis, Benny Koh, Kelvin Tan (although he is thought to be 'evil' but he's good as a faci), serene choo, chong yun, siew pei, jillynn, hui cheng, xiao wei, yong yong, sin nee, yean yean.

this week, another busy, tiring but fulfilling week

md: :)

Fri - Sat

- Night Cycling
- sentosa trg
- k boxing

Trg was sort off slack, so sleepy everywhere i go.. k box, vonn sings well.

sometimes staying by the side and caring might be a difficult task to accomplish due to circumstances, but will try my best :) mission for everyday: tiny 's smile!! =Pp

doc says, nv nv find someone who have the similar med condition, if not the future generation will suffer. where minor + minor = 75% chance of major. which will be a big problem then.

vonn's alright from the med checkup :)

LAST week in RP:

some of the photos taken:

w35p (AY 06/07)









GMP I & II ( the only class of biopharm track in the biotechnology course)

no sense post

md: lo

this is a no sense post, so don't bother to read it, write it down for the purpose of venting out my anger and disappointment. nth else

it need to be done,
everyone knows it,
but no one take up the job,
delay.. delay..
someone know that this cant be delay,
he got it done.

A rude/ 'non- professional'/ no respect reply in return,
there was a feeling of replying back with #$$%#,
forget it,
small matters,
just swallow it will do,
don let the small little matter spoil the whole purpose...

After which came in the term 'hero',
why bother?
because it's our IG,
for things to move on and higher,
but all people see is 'stupidity'...

People only want to do BIG things and tend to neglected the small little task...

_---_---_---_---_

'all human is sinful' a term heard which i strongly disagree...

some were blessed, some were not,
some were intelligent, some were not,
some were talented, some were not,
some were handsome, some were not,
some were pretty, some were not,
some were rich, some were not,
some were lucky, some were not,
some were ... , some were not...

there wasn't a ALL being used... how can you judge ALL just by one?

_---_---_---_---_

it was designed similar,
meant to be a set,
but now it just meant nothing more than a training gear,
for he's will just turn into 'antique' which will be kept ...
expected too much ...

_---_---_---_---_

see no strength, but only weakness
see no good, but only bads
hear no praise, but only criticisms

helping others and get into troubles
_---_---_---_---_

Just a negative post.. sorry if i do offend anyone out there..

md: nil

At the age of 10
teacher ask: 'so what you want to become in the future?'
boy answer: 'i want to become a policeman when i grow up!'
: ' why ?'
: ' because i believe in the fairness and people should be punish for their wrong doings'

as the boy grew up, he realized that there were things more important, the word 'fairness' actually doesn't 'exist' in this world. people often said that 'when you lose something, you gain something' so it's fair, but there were others who said 'if the world is fair then everyone should be equal, born with equal statues, having equal opportunity and luck'. So what is really fair? and what is not? 2 thief steal, one steal as it was an easy way out, but another steal as he is in real desperate situation (to save his family, etc). Both were caught and jailed, it's justice. but if thief B were given a better situation(born with silver spoon), will him become a thief (he could have simple use his own money to solve the problem) ?

Some people said everyone will experience the same things, but it's just happen at the different point of time in life. there was a chinese saying 'shuan, tian, ku, lia', sour, sweet, bitter, spicy is part of life. One who never experiences sour, bitter will not appreciate the sweetness in life.

._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-

a old friend who will nv think of the consequence when doing things ... was it the environment that have made him the way it is ? or was the environment meant to be a test (he could have choose another decision which will then change his life) ?

'ming yun shi zhan wo zai wo men zhi ji de shou zhong'

md: --

- aquatic chalet (nice choco cake =D)

Monday (first day of sch) unable to attend lesson due to the stupid SAF med checkup again, which have cause my grades for AI seriously suffer..

next next IVP .. my 400m event didn came in last !! phewWw .. so stress over it .. didn beat my PB, but it's alright, improvement requires more training !! :)

8

md: low

it's really demoralizing, i am alr slow and today is slower, which going to make me the slowest among the slow , the BIG 8! I cant find any reasons for such disappointing performance... the goal have just drifted further away..

guess things have changed alot since 23rd... don noe what is happening, it's just felt like as if the past is going to repeat itself again, fated..

everythings just drift further .. and soon to be unreachable ..

simple day, memorable gifts

md: nil

Thanks for remembering my 19th birthday ! =D
- tiny
- zy butt
- vonn
- si jie
- sin yee
- xiao hui jie
- sherilyn
- jason
- jun ming
- wei si
- justine bud
- yong kai
- christina
- thomas
- ah ben
- jessamine
- micheal da ge
- jasmine
- eneida
- ai ling bud
- stella lao ma
- UG
- uncle daddy
- er yi mum & dad + krystal
- jie ying
- joyce
- ci liang

Happy Birthday to :

uncle daddy (26th dec)
mum (27th dec)

sin yee (26th dec)
jasmine (24th dec)
ci liang (31st dec)

Thanks tiny, butt, vonn for the gifts =D and those ang bao from my mum, bro, uncle daddy, er yi mum=D.

it's a birthday where 3 impt people are not in SG (mum, big bro & tiny), hmm anyway let's start from the morning, someone visited! it's lao sim (my grandaunt, who is closer to me as compared to my grandmas, and i missed her), she's here to feed the rabbits . chatted with her :D nxt nxt, went to school for lunch, then went to the lappiz outside OSG to play game and check mail, er ended up doing a simple budget for open water training.

ANYWAY GOODIE NEWS!!( to all LS ppl ! esp to tiny!), as planned open water training will commence starting on the week of sch reopen saturday! timing will most probably be 12pm to 2pm as i set. LET"S TRAIN HARD AND BRING GLORY TO OUR SCH! =D

Back to the day, present from vonn, small pie from eneida, thanks. Training followed by rotting in the pool. dinner at coffee shop thanks that witch again haha jkjk. back home, nuggets, fries and lian ou soup waiting for me =) with 2 cakes ! ( one from uncle dad, another from sis). Fats and cholestrol forecast: will increase in the nxt few days :x thanks for the efforts put in for my present. it was the most simple birthday of all my 19 birthday, but i have received 2 most memorable gifts in my life...

mood

Mood for the day... good start, bad ending...

goes downs and up with the weather and situations..

a) bad planning for the day... or rather didn expect the unexpected

b) raining

c) work issues

d) bad location, wrong buses

e) t mood

f) milo spill

arghH daMn it ! today suppose to be a happy day but things changes just like the weather.. a day that i have been hoping for after ....

culprit for blame = mE , haiz

__--__--__--__--

fortunate to have her in my life :) dream -> reality thankie for everything tiny :D

mum, bro gg malaysia back 1 week later
impt person flying off soon, another 7 days

md: :(

- problematic sunday... with the lessons ...

- hope she's enjoying her trip there now :) hope the foods there suit her..

md: sunny










e boxY project... :D

md: sunny

Guess GMP is the only fun and memorable module this semester, the people.. my friends .. UT for CChem = die , although it's easy but but but it's just too easy that 1 grade different might just be 1 marks different after moderating... yaWns..

Swim, with tiny and then went to paint our 'BOX' project =D really happy tiny thanks u.. for making my life more meaningful and fulfilling=) heez when childish + childish = ? :x muhahhaha

back home, i guess some problem arised again :( if only ...

md: cloudy

medical checkup , missed today's stem cell lesson.. haiz.. due to my negligence in planning. that's bad, bad things happen in the check up too, not because of the amount of the needles and 3 tube of blood sample taken, but somehow or rather, i am once demoralized again ..worst of all, i have to report back there on monday for further evaluation, which then i have to skip my lesson again. some people are given a healthy body, but they are unwilling to make good use of it, while there are some out there who were given a more unhealthy body are trying hard. this is the different between healthy and fit i guess, u might be fit but not healthy, on another side you might be healthy but not fit. i cant speak, make me dumb, i cant heard, make me deaf.

do everything without worries and confidently. hate the feelings of being look down by others over the years, relatives, teachers and people around.. the 'colour lens'..

--__--__--__--__--__--__--

thoughts, thoughts ...
what if .. what if.. there's alot of what if in this world, what if things doesnt turn out the way it shld be? this are things that we cant do much about it, assuming that if future turned out this way and not that?just check it out then why ask or bother over it? we are not fortune teller, even if we are, our fates still lies in our hands.

assume that things will turn out that way and we took a step back letting opportunity passed,
everybody was searching,
somebody say 'it not possible',
anybody can take the step forward,
but nobody did,

who knows ?
what lining up ahead on the trail is the happiness we have been searching for..
since we were given a chance to pass by this unknown trail.. why not?

'winners make things happen, loser let things happen' from a giodarno tee ... haha

the steps we are taking, the choice we are choosing make different in the future of ours.
'think wat can be done and not ponder over things that cannot be done'

everyone were given a chance to live, with time ticking down towards death... sound negative but that's fact which everyone is running away from.me too. people never treasure things as we always have the thought that 'there's still time..'. why not spend time wisely and lead a fulfillment life today and ahead?

'what is going to happen tomorrow 'or 'what can i do now or tmr?' which thought ?

--...--...--

md: ...

early in the morning just when i step into the class, i thought i have gotten into a wrong class because of a BIG BIG camera! wahHhh did i even enter a STA block ?

today's GMP was scary, calculations and charts again.. hmm but lucky I am in a v good team !=) sophia and buk ! whoOo no problem, no sweat..


life's happy and simple :) thanks tiny

happy and worse things that happened

Mon =)
SPCA
Swimming
MTG

Tues =))
Swimming
Cycling

Wedn =)))
Trek @ BT
Swimming

Thurs =))
BB
Cycling

Fri
movie
swimming
mtg

Never see someone so happy before, is the real happiness that touch right down into my heart ...

This week is really the most happy week in my poly life :) the things, the people

cherish.. treasure.. future.. tgt :)

be myself ..

this holiday: lotsa changes, truth revealed(sorry i really didn noe it, and i didn manage to handle it well, there wasn't a best solution out of all solutions).

md: --

wah whaaa!! what is happening to me !!! it's only week 7 and i took 4 leaves? one for O level examination, so excusable, but the others ?! haiz damn me ! wake up my idea can anot?! life shouldn't be like that..

looking back, one of my goal is to learn more, experience more. attending school with the purpose of learning as much as possible. if i am good, i will want to be better cause the sky is the limit .. life suppose to be something that treasuring every moment to become a better person.

but now ? very bad time management, or rather i cant be bother, keep finding excuses for myself not to attend sch ... what the hell am i doing?!

haiz enuff of these stupid stuffs ...

kai discovery ...

life = decision + fate
fate = intersection of lines

one day when i am free, gonna draw out my story lines !=D


ytd night i was burning mid-night + morning oil, then something strike my mind with i almost drop the cup i am washing in the middle of the night..

the 'something'
- why do children cry or get angry ?
- it's just simply because they do not know what to do ! that was what that strike
- look at simple example, when baby break the cup for the first time, she/ he cried, but if the mummy say ' don worry, just sweep it up will do =)' then 'okok don cry, it's ok', the second time when cup is broken again, will the baby cry or sweep it up?

- so in the future, tell them what should be done, rights and wrongs, don leave them in confuse ... - life is about experiences, when you experience something and learn from it, you will be able to handle the something in the future.rite ?

md: --

ytd went to ah ben hse to study english right after wl lesson + meeting.. saw cockroach in the lift ! woaH! haha if you were in the lift i bet u will be laughing at the stupid reaction of this 3 guys in the lift when they saw a flying croach!

so today.. O level Eng! cannot make it i think, dumb me forgotten to write the question number on the cover page for paper 1... till paper 2 then i realised it.. dead shit! then went to TP with ah ben, to submit his leave application, that the good thing about RP : self declaration ! haha saw JASON! then vincent and gang and the most shocking part was someone who walked up to me and say hi ! i was like .. er who is that .. and that person was QM, my sec classmate... then opp EVSS coffee shop, saw sensei steven ..RISK! RISK! haha have risk with ah ben, CH and my brother, er I win!:x thanks to luck. work.. really like to teach kids in small classes, i find that then they will be able to benefit more, hmm mayb is just that my ability wasn't there to manage bigger classes.

i am getting berserk again!! haiz why like tat, i really hate myself for being like tat.. and I lost myself again, after trying so hard to get myself back the past few days.. I guess i know things, but i need to comfirm, face the reality idoit ! wake your damn sense up! someone ...

md: low

left class early, wanted to study eng but haiz the running nose and headache .. jus felt so uncomfortable. Unable to concentrate.

swim away all my sorrow i hope ..

walking away from the city, to the isolated town ...

md: -dwn-

reali idoitic! i wake up at 12 plus then 3plus then 4 plus again, but I OVERSLEPT! and i woke up with a v bad sore throat.. then went to drink alot alot of water !! hope to recover.. yaWns.. didn go sch cos don noe why, mayb really need sometimes to sort my brain out ba.. then went to sch manage to study some format, then Bb with vonn, clarence and peg bud. fun! but hope i didn hurt my bud with the ball, so sorry about it.. anyway bud ! nice conversion of the song lyric !

went home, argH! that irresponsible guy of the family argue with my brother again, door slamming, vulgarities... then still threaten us to pay rent! i mean wtf ! this house 80% is paid by mum CPF ok! u got no rite! i pity him, but i hate him too... if only u were more sensible, i guess this family wouldn't reduce to such a state, the way ur children treat u.. ask urself what u have done for us then ...

why why why !! everything isn't simple ! it's complicated... everyone is out to kill each other.. just for their own benefit.. is this what the world should be ? do i really have to put the mask on to face the world ? haiz

okok i was thinking of contributing to the society, hmm but what should i do? hmm i don have $$... nowadays, the most i do going to those charity swim..

md: aRgH!!

today i am really angry over what tigor have done to me! i wasn't treated as a teammate and i don no for wat reason, he's have made my grade for today suffered. Disappoint about that... ok in th lab, i shared with him my findings, giving him ideas. if not where he got the idea of combining the graph together?! how he know about the 2 types of liquid in the first place?! i am not trying to claim credits, i treat u as a teammate sharing. But U ? you spilted the work according to your own idea, without asking. there were others in the team who not in class, you gave them any share, what about me? i don giv a damn whether you are a 20 odds 30 guy ! f**k you man! if u treat me like a shit, don expect me to treat you as a teammate in the future! Now i am sure that the tupid faci mus be thinking that i am slacking when i am not...

Mel! THANK YOU! =) for the smiley cup cake! haha training today er slack.. have a great talk with peg and clarence. vonn thanks.. reach home.. msn with butt once in the blue moon, thanks! i finally can say sorry to her after 3 years? shared some past..

' too nice? deserve a better girl ?' haiz..why girls i like have the same mindset?4 year ago, present... what's the meaning behind it? is that something wrong ?

md: --

Went to sch, planning out the night Hunt route with long fei and vonn, explored the hidden side of the sch, admiratly park, actually RP IS BEAUTIFUL! :) just that we didn take some times to explore it!

i felt really bad knowing that my training buddy have train and injured, and i was the main factor. mayb i shouldn't have ask her to train when i want to, maybe i should have gone alone.. then no injuries. Sorry buddy. ok there's something i want to achieve, is to correct her stroke and get her confidence for comp swim, cos buddy can do it, jus some confi.

I guess the best thing for me to receive before leaving Aquatic will be 1) seeing bud and vonn improve in their swimming (maybe i just don wan them to follow my footsteps ba) 2) have a better management team for the IG, i felt really sad for the IG as i am not good enough ba.

'somethings are suppose to be hidden , and shown it only to me, myself... '

回忆的声音
播在夜里
像是一首旋律
多么美丽
那时我很肯定
你是我唯一
眨个眼我们就各分东西
再说我爱你
泪把心占据
却有些甜蜜
让伤心被允许
说过的话语
做过的事情
像歌曲陪我每个冬季
纪念着我和你相爱这主题

时间早已忘记
分手时候的无情
你给的美好回忆
让我有怀念的勇气






今夜想为妳唱首歌
请妳别急着说要走
眼神交会的那一刻
妳低头避开我

妳说妳并不适合我
渴望拥有更多自由
就算给妳再多温柔
妳还是不快乐

妳抱着我 说要分手
要我答应当妳最好的朋友
就在妳哭着离开以后
我的心早已经被泪水淹没

为妳第一次唱情歌
面对第一次分手
我好想对全世界说
我爱妳不要走

当我第一次唱情歌
那种心痛的感受
我好想妳 这心情谁能懂

md: --

today.. napfa test.. ok i pass with a dull colours, 1 5pt, 1 4pt, 3 2pt and 2.4km don know the timing. manage to brush through the '2 pointer' silver line. well wasn't really happy about my performance. peg bud and von was there for swimming, they were standing some where watching er sort of motivation la. owed bud 10 laps of swim becos i pass, eh where got such thing de?! suppose u should be the one lehz... LOL... anyway how i hope she's there ? ok buddy swam alot today, but her stroke made the same mistake as mine.. haiz.. no wonder jess say that she was similar to me in the past, must correct her stroke, so at the v least she wouldn follow my footsteps. ' no one suppose to be left alone, but there are exceptional cases ... '

i am sorry, i guess i still cant get over it. Just feel sad whenever alone. have to shift my mindset back on track ... ok my daily grades was suffering.. this sem scare i will flung my 3.5 hope...

md:--

her Os sci prac today, along with her science UT. ytd was searching for help but all my stuffs were thrown away le. there's nth much i can do, even though i wanted to help. but think it's abit too late? hope that luck will be with her during the test, jia you wor :)

md: --

today ...
the decision is made,
those promises made,
i'll remember them... u too :)

we might not be bgr,
i noe it's for the better of each other,
in the future protect urself,
make wise decision,
another thing ! haha choose a guy better than me! in term of how he treat u, respect, caring, understanding...
stay happy...

i will be there to protect u always,
whenever u need me,
that's one of the promise of me to u right ?


'saddness remains in the heart..'

md: --

i wonder what's in her mind... waiting for her nudges, waiting for her call...

haha, lesson end, buddy al, mel and yong li have made things funny, after a long day of serious work :) ok i know there are people out there having some prejudice againest some ppl, but removing the 'coloured spec' u will understand others better.

Swimming .. ok the coach was late for about 1 hr? anyway finally realise my mistake in stroke le !:) although it might seem late, but just do it! thanks the coach for telling me and correcting my stroke, finally i can improve.. now i am able to 'practise make perfect' in my swimming. haha clarence, have became my good friend, although i have know him for v long. he's actually a great guy, and now he's changing to better, jia you clarence ! haha the 'holy lotus' :)

tupid don noe who kept calling the hse phone .. i thot is her.. hope it her .. but ya it's not her...

md: --

wo ke yi

寄没有地址的信
这样的情绪有种距离
你放着谁的歌曲
是怎样的心情
能不能说给我听

雨下得好安静
是不是你偷偷在哭泣
幸福真的不容易
在你的背景有我爱你

我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明
我就要和你在一起
我不想又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽
是因为你
幸福它真的不容易

this is e song.. k6i 2 y3e .. mY thoughts mY feelings

md: --

wow.. 2 men team with sophia jie today, then shirleen came at 1030am! LOL .. see other team full full de, only our pathetic team with only 3 person ..urm and both person absent was my clasmate for the previous day module, haha mayb it's my fault ? LOL thanks sophia for accompanying me to the library man and spotting the relevant topic to me. mai siao siao although 3 person, we got a fast typist (u should really take a look at how shirleen type man!) and fast 'scanner' (haha sophia is really good at analysing information!).

ok nxt nxt.. brought a kit kat which melted in my pocket ! sian cannot giv her liao.. oh ya another thing was wishing long fei an happy birthday! ya sorry for not attending the birthday lunch today, have alot of work to be done for the ppt. 5 mins .. nah .. sian.. what is she thinking? hmm wondering .. guess no more swensen le, this mth anni hmm can forget about it le ba :( went trg for nafa with jg and bud, er ok i cant make it for SBJ and SR .. saddening..

ytd decided not to continue lifesaving AM le.. reasons? i not swimming fast enough, i want to have more time (so when she's free, i wldn be busy), need not to train so hard anymore also, the pocket wldn have the big big hole, anyway no motivation to move on further... sorry guys ..














haha here's the pic we took during first break out, rather interesting .. wan zai nu nai ! hOT kid! haha

md: cloudy- sunny

in the bus... on the expressway... don noe why just kept listening to zhu ti qu.. hope the ending will not be like that ...

today.. hmm working, 3 continuous lesson, I guess i treated them too kind le, all climb over my head! gRrr no basic respect at all! then this time round didn really make the lesson really relax, one of them got too demoralise in one of the activity and turn moody:( then second lesson 6 students, er ... worse thing is one of them even forgot to bring student kit, i was like -_-"'. cant really focus on the 'needy' ones, i wanted to help evaangeline but in the end i cant la, they were too noisy le. One thing that have make me felt happy was that evanangeline did improve ! she's able to count and pass all on her own! GREAT! :D but she forgot to take her children day gift home... then nxt class all ar .. er like tat lorz.. nxt week mus push them harder so they will improve ! yEAH!

she called me !! and msg me during the lesson! :) i don noe y, but i felt happy even it's just an simple task. really hope dist will get nearer but not further anymore.. pray pray .. nowadays even lesser talking le .. wanted to ask her out for dinner, oo but she got work.. so nvm ba..

md: ---

today? lesson = bad bad, totally owned! haha anyway i deserve it, who ask me to slack down so much.. LOL anyway i admit that i have became much lesser compeitive le, mayb it's due to my classmate, my friends, as friendship is important too =)
I finally do some push up and some personal training at home today, well it's just some simple training, if not aWwww.. it have been so long every since i train at home myself.. about half a year ? guess it's due to the lack of motivation ba. hope one day she will really read the link i send to her, her's tmr didn became today :( anyway, understand her!tupid mE! ... oh ya heard that those junior passed their test! well done ! =D

md: low ..

today? a boring day! didnt attend lesson, training... felt so wierd.. and didn get to see her at all? all becos of the PP poster, or rather my poor time management ba.. the feelings of being alone is .. awWWww... the period of waiting the poster to be printed seem to be so long, although it is just a short 1 hour, wandering around like an idoit, then saw a crowd listening to a guy talking about feng shui then listen abit .. even went to see those home appliances. If only u agree to acc me, i guess things will be different.. :( friends.. television.. thinking of what to cook for her ... is she thinking the same things ? nah ...

save as draft ...

md: sad

really trouble, BGR, care too little: neglected, care too much: possessive, then where's the moderate line? hmm...

why should i think for other's ? hmm.. no idea.. isn't understand myself, think about myself is much more easier then understanding others, think for others?

Read my own friendster comments, felt so swt, esp what she have written for me.. also felt that i have really neglected someone whom i shouldn't.

Assurances is needed...

md: --

happy day with her ytd,
although it's a simple day,

rem tat..
gg to swensen on 7th of oct or anywhere ard the week,
she love e white wine,
e 'countryside' restuarant?
e bird soaring in the sky,
2 watch show.

md:--

today, really have lotsa funs with the kids, for all the classes. lessons seem to be more fun. looking at them having fun, and practising, i felt relived. After lessons wonder how is she le.. pray and hope that she will get well tmr..

all of the sudden when i reach home, i felt extremly sad, thinking of all the past. Felt really useless, even when she's sick, i cant do anything about it. Remindin me of stuart, my beloved dog, who died as we send him to a clinic instead of hospital. I saw him walking so weakly, but i jus cant do anything .. ever since i was young alot people say that i shouldn be in this world, i just don noe y, and what's make them think that way, and they were my relative. why cant my family care more for me? also her by jus abit more ? things on my side always requires double efforts, but to others mayb just a flick of finger, as easy as abc. Ok i am getting crazy, getting really emo for no reason, guess this is wat happen when everything piled up and exploded ? and no one is there for me ba. sorry ...