: greyish wind

alright now, after thoughts, i suppose i manage to see a very clear picture, probably clearer then what she see in herself.

according to experiences, all these that happened shows,

how unimpt/impt a person is to him/ her,

certianly, when that person means alot, care, concern and understanding comes in.

but on the other side, when it's not, then nothing happen, because one cant be bother.

after all these,

i asked myself, how should things be carry on from now? what should i really do?

i touch my heart, it felt numb...

and certainly i have lost my confident for this r/s ..

- when feelings isnt there -

when feelings isnt there, then whatever another party do will not give you the 'blissful/happy' feelings, so that will mean that all efforts will go to drain.

when feelings isnt there, a relationship will become a burden, because then it will restrict your happiest and freedom.

when feelings isnt there, you wouldnt bother to do bits and pieces which will spice up and make the r/s a fulfilling one.

when feelings isnt there, you wouldnt bother to share stuffs (happy, worries, anger, saddess) with that person, so then things stop rolling.

when feelings isnt there, you wouldnt bother to see, do things, creating more memories togeter.

when feelings isnt there, you wouldnt miss that person anymore.

when feelings isnt there, you wouldnt bother to think what you can do for that person anymore.

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but how does it really feels when feelings isnt there anymore,

i choose who to care, who should i fall for ... (is that the reason why i will never experience being the one who 'feelings isnt there anymore?)

alot people out there says follow feelings, but i realise that feelings are complicated.

i suppose feelings is just a igniter for the start for the r/s,

from then on, it depends on individuals,

on how you want to make things special,

on how you want to make that person different from others in ur life (friends, classmates, workmates ... .. )

on how you getting ur life involve with his/her,

on how you getting use having him/ her revolving around urs,

on how you getting use of having him/ her doing certain things for u,

on how you getting use of getting certian things done together.....

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if you didnt allow me to step into ur life, then why start?

getting tgt isnt because of having the name/statues (in a relationship), it's because of wanting getting together with this person.

certainly you dont know what you want, what you need from a r/s. for these, i suppose you will figure it out urself in the future.

certainly whatever written is base purely on personal experiences and thoughts.

not angry or sad, it's just facing the reality.

glad that you guys are there to cheery me out =)

c how things goes ...
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gosh wasted my half day today by sleeping at home ! -_-"''

OMG i am wasting time ! when i suppose to wash my dear bike, book FFI and Dental Appt, going to NTUC for house groceries ... and now i gonna book in agn for tmr BIG DAY. gosh hope everything will turn out great tmr, D Day ( pls pls no fainting spells, no mistakes ) !!

paraniod as always.
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